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Halloween. Fright Night.
Oh, there's the light switch.
I'm still getting used to this new house.
I just bought it and it's the '60s!
No, I'm just kidding!
It's 1993, and I'm wearing a costume!
Groovy threads! But you just got drafted, hippie!
衣服很时髦 你被征兵了 嬉皮士
Into the cutest husband army!
Where's your costume?
Can't I just wear a dumb hat and say I'm Blossom?
In my opinionation... Yes.
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I am so excited to go to a real Hollywood party
with my husband the TV star.
Just do me a favor and don't leave me alone, okay?
- Okay! - Now hurry up and finish getting ready.
Can you imagine if I spoke to you like that?
Next time, we're doing a couples costume, though!
It's the perfect way to tell the world
that you are completely on the same...
- paaaaage? - What are you wearing?
I thought we were going as
Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling
in the this-year 2004 hit film The Notebook.
Ooh! You just said, "The Notebook."
I thought you were gonna be, like, a pen or something.
The important thing is we both look super-cute,
and everyone is gonna be, like,
"Hey, is that Jessica Biel from the
upcoming Blade: Trinity?''
And I'll say my famous Blade: Trinity catchphrase,
"Stop goofin' around, Blade!"
Are you sure you're gonna be okay at this party?
Whenever I went with Katrina, we'd always end up in a big fight.
Well, I'm not Katrina. This is gonna be fun.
Okay. I just know you're afraid of mummies.
And since it's Halloween, we might see some mummies.
I'm not afraid of mummies.
I just don't like them because of an incident... from my past.
Will you stay on the lookout and keep those creepy corpses away?
I'll be sure to make a mental note of it!
I'm not sure I get our costumes.
You're the guy from The Hangover.
The first one, which just came out this year.
I don't know why I said "First one",
Because there's only one Hangover movie, and it's 2009.
- And you are...? - Your Baby Bjorn Borg.
Famous '70s tennis player!
And what's with the robot stuff?
Borg. From Star Trek?
And you're also a baby?
In The Hangover, the guy had a Baby Bjorn. Baby Bjorn Borg.
- Seems like a lot of explaining. - People will get it.
Anyway, we are going to have fun at this party!
You said BoJack Horseman is gonna be there?
Oh, my God. I'm so nervous.
I'm not! Every Halloween party I went to with one of my ex-wives,
we'd get in a huge blow out.
I am so relieved that you are fun and easygoing,
so there's no danger of that happening!
I love that we both love parties. But more than that...
- I love you. - Aw, I love you, too.
And I love these costumes!
But tell me one more time, what are these costumes?
We're new social media app sensation Tweed Feed!
It's Insta plus Snapchat...
if they both boinked Friendster,
which I guess was a thing in the '70s?
Believe you me. This party is going to be dope. Booyah!
It'll be off the heezy fo' sheezy.
OMG, it's gonna be cray-cray!
Turnt! This is going to be the best Halloween ever!
My first fancy Hollywoo party.
"I'm ready for my close up!"
- Sunset Boulevard? - I usually take Fountain.
BoJack must really love halloween
if he has this big bash every year, huh?
Oh, yeah, he's a real fiend for the 'ween.
- Who are you and what are you doing here? - Good one!
-你是谁 来这里做什么 -装得好
Pretending not to know your old friend Mr. Peanutbutter.
Why are you at my house?
Remember when I invited you to my Halloween party,
and you said, you'd love to come, but couldn't
你说 你很想来 但是不能
because you were having your own Halloween party?
Well, I'm sure my guests will show up any minute,
so, you should probably go.
Well, I figured, "Hey, why not have a crossover party?"
So, I brought my party, wait for it, to you!
所以我把我的派对带来 等一下 你家啦
That was the first ever "Wait for it!"
God damn it, why are you here?
At the end of last year's Halloween party,
you said, "Let's do this again next year,"
like you've said at every Halloween party for the last 11 years!
That does not sound like me.
Oh, no. Mr. Peanutbutter? Partygoers? No. Is it--
不 花生酱先生 派对常客 不
Happy "Your 25-Years-Running" Halloween Party!
- Hallo-ween! Hallo-ween! - No. Don't. Please.
-万圣节 万圣节 -不要 拜托
Don't. No. You see--
So suddenly, we're having a party?
Why didn't you say this was happening?
Because I hate that it happens.
I take no action to make it happen.
Every year, I pray that it won't happen,
and it keeps happening anyway!
I feel like an idiot
being at a Halloween party without a costume.
Who cares? I don't have a costume.
Uh, you're wearing a costume.
Do you mean, in the sense that we all wear costumes everyday,
such as we reveal facets of ourselves to those closest to us,
but our truest selves remain hidden?
No, in the sense that you are literally wearing a costume
- from the TV show we both work on. - Oh, yeah!
I'll go to Rite Aid to see what I can throw together.
Don't let the party die down before I get back.
I definitely will let it die down!
Oh, shit, the Halloween party.
Oh. Hey, careful with the-- I'm sorry. Can you put a coaster--
You! Marv's intern!
- You're on door duty. - You got it!
I'm very good at opening doors.
Do you have any candy for trick-or-treaters?
Just hand out these Emmy screeners.
Those kids'll be holding out their hands for Franz.
Why grip a Twix when you can Sip-o-wicz?
Just keep answering the door until I tell you to stop.
Diane! What are you supposed to be?
An annoyed writer who hates Halloween.
Well, you are nailing it.
I'm just here to drop off pages for BoJack.
I wouldn't know. I'm stuck on door duty, like always.
No. You are way too old to be trick-or-treating,
and way too young to be a guest at this party.
Oh, no! Why did I give you the option of trick or treat?
I just wanted treat!
Come back when you're five years older, or three years younger.
- Whoa! Cool house. - Oh, thank you.
- It's not mine. It's my boyfriend's. - Really?
-这不是我家 是我男朋友的 -真的吗
Why does he make you answer the door?
No, he doesn't make me, he's--
Oh, my God. You're right! What am I doing?
天啊 你说得对 我在干什么呢
What am I doing with my life?
Uh, well, judging by your outfit,
I'd say you're a pilot of some sort?
I moved to L.A. When I was 18 and now I'm 35!
Everything's happening so fast!
Oh, no! I'm 18! Am I going to be 35 soon?
不 我今年18 我很快就要35岁了吗
That's when they make you president!
I don't want that! That's too much responsibility!
I can't do this anymore. You! Take my shift!
我不能再干这个了 你 跟我换班
Oh, no! The responsibilities are already starting!
I gotta live my life!
I deserve to be adored by a man,
yet here my dreams lie dormant!
I don't mean to get mordantly morbid,
but did I get all adorably adorned
to get bored manning doors? No more!
Okay, this cider has not been sufficiently alcoholed.
If I'm trapped here with all you losers,
I'm at least getting drunk.
Whoa! God! I think somebody spiked the cider!
Well, I guess one drink won't hurt.
No, I get that it's the X-Files.
I'm just saying, what happened to the "A" Through "W" Files?
I wanna see that show. More files!
- Hey. - Oh, hey, there you are!
-你好 -你好 你在这儿啊
Sweetheart, you disappeared while I was in the bathroom.
Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just got distracted by the fun party.
But I will not leave your side agai--
Oh, my God, is that Erica?
No, no, please don't go talk to Erica.
Katrina. Erica doesn't know anybody else at this party.
It would be rude to leave her all by herself.
Well, can I at least come with you?
You know Erica can't talk to two people at once
on account of her split-brain procedure!
Why don't you go talk to, uh...
the teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off?
I'll bet that famously boring man is
a blast at parties.
I'll be right back.
- No, don't-- - Erica! Love the costume!
-不 别... -艾瑞卡 装扮真棒
Where did you find such a hideous--?
Oh, my mistake, I'm so sorry.
Are you sure this is a good idea, 13-year-old Todd?
It's part of the Halloween Code.
If you don't give teenagers candy,
they're going to TP your house.
Okay, I've scoped out the party,
and I've yet to see a single mummy.
As Margaret Thatcher's children often asked,
"Is Mummy coming to see us?"
And as their nanny always replied,
- Thank god. - I have to ask,
what is the deal with the mummies?
Okay. I auditioned for The Mummy movie.
The one with Brendan Fraser?
And I thought everything was going well,
and then something really traumatic happened.
- Oh, my God, what? - I, uh...
-天啊 是什么 -我...
I didn't get the part.
That's it? You just didn't get it?
I really wanted it! And it still haunts me!
It's my one major career disappointment as of 2004,
so could you please do me this one thing
and make sure I don't see any mummies?
I promise. No mummies.
Remember that time that lady freaked out 'cause she saw a mummy?
- Who was that lady? - Uh, that was actually Jessica Biel.
- One of my ex-wives? - Oh, yeah!
You've brought so many wives and girlfriends to these parties,
- I cannot keep track. - Well, don't forget about Pickles, huh?
Uh, what? Why is the waitress here talking about pickles?
Somebody order pickles?
No, BoJack, this is my girlfriend.
不是 波杰克 这是我女朋友
Her name is Pickles.
You can remember because if you look at me,
and don't recall my name, you'll think,
"Who is this person? I'm in a real pickle!"
And then just know that my name is like the thing that you're in,
but with an "S" at the end.
- What? - I'm Pickles!
- My last name is Aplenty! - Do I need to know this one?
Is she gonna be around for a while?
I like that you're razzing me.
It really makes me feel like one of the gang.
If he teases you, that means he likes you.
What? Is that what people think when I tease them?
Remember the year that Pinky won the costume contest,
but then it turned out
he'd just lost all his belongings in a fire,
and those clothes were all that he owned?
Oh, shit, I gotta go run the costume contest.
Ow! My back! Why'd I do that?
It sounds like you all have a lot of history.
Yeah. I can't believe we've been doing this party since '93.
That's the year I was born!
I... did not realize that!
Are you having fun?
Yeah, I'm having a great time
explaining my costume to people over and over again.
Hey, here's a thought: if you don't get someone's costume,
you don't need to tell them! Just live your life!
- Do you wanna leave? - No, no, no, no! I'm fun!
-你想离开吗 -不不不 我很开心
I don't want to leave!
Who has the yellow military assault vehicle blocking me in?
- Oh, that's me! - Since when do you drive a Hummer?
Company car. I just like it 'cause it matches my hat.
Plus, lots of room for the golf clubs,
还有 空间很大 放得下高尔夫球杆
and, boy, does that kitten purr.
Why don't you take her out for a spin and see how she handles?
What is his costume?
- Diane! Hi! - Hey...
-戴安 你好 -你好
Priscilla Barnes vehicle Three's Company right now,
because three's company.
- I'm just trying to get out of here. - Oh, my gosh, Diane,
-我正想离开了 -天呐 戴安
I just want you to know that
I know that you and Mister have a history...
- "Mister?" - And I'm fine with it,
and there's no reason
we should be awkward around each other,
or jealous, you know?
- I'm not jealous of you. - Okay, good.
-我没有嫉妒你 -好吧 那就好
I'm not jealous of you either,
even though you are really intimidating.
But if we were jealous of each other, that would be very normal,
so either way, it's totally cool. Totally cool.
所以不管怎么样 都没关系 完全没关系
Should we do shots together
to, like, celebrate how normal we're being?
Yeah, this is a good situation.
Okay, bye, Diane!
好吧 再见 戴安
Did I screw up? I'm so stupid.
No. That's just Diane.
She doesn't like parties and she hates fun.
No, that's not fair. She used to be fun.
不 这话不公平 她以前很有趣的
In fact, when we first started dating,
my favorite thing about her was that
she was so much more fun than my other ex-wives.
Oh, we're talking about your exes again! That's great.
Of course, Jessica used to be fun, too.
That's why I started seeing her after Katrina
because Katrina was so mean and cynical,
and Jessica was sweet and full of life.
Yeah, she sounds awesome.
But, actually, now that I think about it,
when I first met Katrina, she was also full of life.
Do you want another drink? I'm going to get another drink.
Oh, my God. What a weird coincidence.
Why do all these idealistic, vivacious women
eventually turn bitter and cruel
after being with me? What's the common denominator?
The conga line leader accidentally led us right into the pool.
I've never felt so alive!
- You should've been there! - I want to go home now.
What? But this party is so fun!
It's not fun for me.
'Cause I don't know anyone here.
Of course you do. Just--
BoJack! You remember my wife Katrina.
- Huh? No, I do not. - This is going great.
-不 不认识 -太好了
I'm gonna go dry off. You two chat it up.
No, Mr. Peanutbutter, please.
不 花生酱先生 请别走
Thank you for hosting this party.
- What's the story on the hat? - It's a Blossom costume.
Oh, shit, that's right! It's Halloween.
操 对 今天是万圣节
I need a costume! Good call, stranger!
我需要一套服装 多谢提醒 陌生人
So, I love parties, as you know,
所以 你知道的 我喜欢派对
but maybe we should go soon?
There are so many famous people here,
it's actually making me kind of anxious.
Diane! Famous people are just like you and me.
Well, like me, because I am one.
Mom? No, I can't talk right now. Can I call you tomorrow?
妈 不 我现在不方便 能明天打给你吗
Or is this the one night a year you emerge from your crypt?
Go introduce yourself. I'm sure he'd love to meet you!
- Or we could just go home? - No, come on.
-要不我们还是回家吧 -不 来吧
It's Halloween, a night to face your fears.
That's why they call it Halloween!
So, you can wean yourself off of having fears!
Say "Hallo" To weaning!
Okay. Todd's Hummer is now blocked in by a blue Tesla.
I'm looking for the owner of a blue Tesla.
Studies say buying used is actually better for the environment,
but, hey, you tried, and subsequently trapped me at this party!
- So, thanks for the new script pages. - You got it.
Hey, listen. That submarine scene...
You wanna talk about it?
We'll just put that
in the large bucket of things we don't talk about.
What is that supposed to mean?
That you didn't wanna talk about it.
Hey, doorman! I don't have a costume.
And I don't wanna look stupid at my own bitchin' Halloween party.
Okay, I've got an idea.
There. You're a one-night stand.
Get it? Nightstand?
Nice! You should be a producer or something.
Ha, ha. Yeah, right!
- But not yet. Keep manning the door. - Yeah.
-但不是现在 继续守好门 -好吧
Ah! All dry! Sorry, I got a little distracted on the way back
都弄干了 抱歉 回来的路上被
by some people with a Ouija board.
A dead soul told me to "AERXIXFASP"!
- What could it mean? - Cool.
While you were gone,
Ben Stein introduced me to Tim Allen,
and the three of us had a long debate about government spending,
which is exactly how I wanted to spend my Halloween.
- I am so sorry. - Although, I have to say,
now that your TV show has put us into a new tax bracket,
maybe we should start paying attention more
to how the government is using our money.
- What? - No, I don't know, ya know,
I'm just saying that a true capitalist-free market
is actually, if you really think about it,
more fair than an arbitrary redistribution based on need.
This is from Ten Minutes with Tim Allen?
You left me alone for an hour and a half!
I guess time flies when you're having fun, right?
I am not having fun!
Hey, I need a costume.
I can't be costume-less at my own party.
- Hold that. Now circle around here. - Oh. What...
-拿着 这转一圈 -干什么
- Okay. Just need some tape. - No. What are-- Hey.
-好了 粘上胶带 -干吗 别
No, I get that there's a smoke monster,
but other than that, it's just Gilligan's Island, right?
Oh, thank you so much.
Am I written by Albert Hammond and Diane Warren,
originally recorded by Tina Turner,
but popularized by Ace of Base?
Because "Don't Turn Around."
What do you mean, a duel?
You mean like, like a duel, a duel?
Hold on, somebody's...
- Baby Bjorn Borg. - Oh, my God. Yes!
-比约·博格宝宝 -老天啊 没错
Cute. What do you want?
Oh, um, I actually wanted to introduce yourself.
Obviously, you already know yourself, so...
很明显 你已经很了解自己了 所以
Oh, God. Listen, I just wanted to tell you
老天 听着 我只想告诉你
how much I loved Horsin' Around.
It was, like, a very formative part of my childhood.
I get a warm feeling every time I think about the song.
*Three little orphans, one, two, three*
*三个小孤儿 一二三 *
I'm sorry. I'm on the phone right now.
Yeah, Mom, I'm still here.
是的 妈妈 我还在
No, it was nobody important.
No, I get them to Glee Club.
But why are they singing when they're not in the Glee Club?
Where's the music coming from? Doesn't seem realistic.
Why did you make me talk to BoJack?
I made a complete fool of myself.
- No. - I can't do this.
I'm good in small groups.
I'm great in chat-rooms and message boards.
But I hate big parties!
- What? No! - Yes!
-什么 不 -是的
And I didn't wanna tell you
because I know how much this party means to you.
But I can't be more fun than your ex-wives!
It's too much pressure!
- Hey, Pickles? I'm sorry. - For what?
-小腌瓜 抱歉 -为什么
I shouldn't talk about my ex-wives so much.
I don't want you to feel like you have to be fun.
It has nothing to do with you, or your ex-wives,
or your ex-wife Diane, who is in this room right now.
Okay, now I'm looking for the owner of a blue Tesla,
a red Maserati, and a gold helicopter.
- Let's just get out of here. - I don't wanna get out of here!
I'm having fun! This is fun for me!
What's up with the waitress?
You left me alone all night long!
I ask so little of you! And you never listen.
I know, but now I am listening,
and I swear I will stay by your side, now and forever.
I'll be on you like Urkel on Laura. "Will I do that?"
- Yes, I will. - You know what? No.
-是的 我会 -知道吗 不用了
Because now I want to be alone.
So, have fun hanging out
with all your hippie liberal friends, okay?
- 'Cause I'm going home. - Kar-nina! Don't go!
-我要回家了 -卡妮娜 别走
- Party's over. - All right, fine.
Let's make this an annual thing, though, okay?
I wanna see all of you, back here, next year! No matter what!
I asked you to do one thing,
keep me away from mummies. And you couldn't even do that!
Okay, in my defense,
I am dressed like a giant notebook,
which severely limits my mobility!
How do you think I felt
when I had to do that screen test all wrapped up in gauze?
Wait. You were auditioning to play the mummy?
Mom, I gotta go. Okay? I'll call you tomorrow.
妈妈 我要挂了 明天打给你
Yeah. We will figure out Dad's funeral.
And... I'm... I'm sorry.
- You! Boy! What's going on? - I think the party's over, sir.
-小子 发生了什么 -派对结束了 先生
I always thought that when this happened, I would feel something.
I don't know what, but something.
But I don't feel anything. What's wrong with me?
Nothing's wrong. Just sometimes parties are over.
But... Hey, it doesn't have to be over.
I mean, I could stick around for a little bit.
Yeah, sure, good idea. Stick around for as long as you want.
好吧 好主意 你想待多久都行
I'm sorry I ruined another Halloween for you.
- You didn't ruin it. - I really wanted you to think I was fun.
Diane, you don't need to pretend to be something you're not.
- I already love you. - What?
And I'm going to love you, no matter what version of you you are.
So, you might as well give me the real version.
Now I know you don't like parties.
So, we will never have that argument again.
I really humiliated myself in front of BoJack.
If it makes you feel better,
I guarantee BoJack won't even remember that he met you.
I'm looking for four strong construction workers
who can lift my car and carry it out to the street,
like in the Mentos commercial. Any takers?
Pickles, open the door!
What's going on in there? Tough SAT prep course?
Fail her learner's permit test?
Skirmish with the members of the Baby-Sitter's Club?
- Not at all. - Shattered dreams of playing Adelaide
in her high school's production of Guys and Dolls
because the musical director sees her as more of a Rusty Charlie?
I don't know why this keeps happening.
I take these amazing women, like Pickles, like you,
我和这些完美的女人 小腌瓜 你
Katrina, Jessica, and I ruin them.
卡特琳娜 杰西卡一起 然后毁了她们
- No, I just mean... I don't listen. - Okay, yes.
-不 我是说...我不会倾听 -对
It is definitely very annoying how you don't listen.
Thank you, but you don't have to
say nice things just to make me feel better.
I was going to say you not listening
and I repeat, you don't listen,
that's not the only thing going on here.
There are more things?
- What do all these women have in common? - They're mean?
- When you first start dating them. - They're fun?
They're young. You keep dating women in their 20s.
They're not fully-formed yet. Life changes people.
- Well, not me. - That's kind of my point.
You don't ruin these women, they just grow up.
So, what you're saying is...
they all grow up, but I stay the same age?
All right. All right. All right. How do I fix that?
好吧 好吧 那我要怎么解决
Well, either you date someone older...
- Ooooooor... - Or, you grow up.
Because otherwise, they're gonna keep outgrowing you.
Okay, first thing we need to do
is sit you up and get you hydrated.
I understand what you're going through.
I've been in your position before, and this party is hard.
It's hard to be the new girlfriend.
And to be at a famous person's house,
at an event with 25 years of history,
and all these people Mr. Peanutbutter has known for years.
- Plus, you're here. - Plus, I'm here.
What if I'm just a rebound?
I was a rebound. And he loved me, so much, for ten years.
If there's one thing I know about him,
it's that he loves the person he's with
deeply and unconditionally.
So, you don't have to worry about me,
because I'm not that person anymore.
If you guys will excuse me,
I'm just gonna take this dickhole's helicopter home.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
I'm actually really glad you went through all those ex-wives
because it means I got the best version of you.
- That's right. Version 4.0. - Oh! I like the sound of that.
-没错 第四代 -我喜欢这叫法
Hey, you wanna just go home? Hang out, just the two of us?
Psh! No way! I just saw on Tweed Feed that Josephine's ex, Tor,
is throwing a monster shindig up in NoHo.
Who-sephine's ex-what now?
They have a two-story ice luge, and a huge beer pond tournament.
And I brought new costumes,
so we don't have to look stupid
wearing the same in all our pictures.
I never wanna grow up!
Where's everybody going? It's Halloween!
Happy Hallowee-- What the?
- Where is everyone? - Hey, let's do this again next year.