Oh, you're just in time for breakfast.
Ooh, we should probably go light on the food.
Something tells me we're
not gonna want to do this on a full stomach.
I can't believe there's such a thing as autopsy camp.
There is no such thing as autopsy camp.
I had to trick Luke
'cause I'm actually taking him to a ballroom-dance class.
He's been resisting,
but it's in his blood.
I come from a long line of dancing Dunphys --
A kick line, actually.
Come on, we don't want to be late,
like the guy we're gonna see on the table.
Of corpse you are.
Hey, mom, can you take me driving?
My test is coming up, and I really need to practice.
Oh, honey, I would,
but I've got a big
closets and blinds union meeting today.
There is no closets and blinds union.
Driving with Alex is torture.
She drives so slowly.
I have to be the only parent
who slams on the imaginary gas.
Hey, I'm not doing anything. I guess I could take her.
Great! I'll go check the tire pressure and the fluid levels!
Fun! Can't wait!
Okay, my rate just went up.
All right, but this buys your time and your silence.
Alex can never know how much I hate driving with her.
Mm, she's in a hurry today.
Oh, that's just step one of her nine-point safety test.
Step two is checking the horn
to make sure checking the horn didn't break the horn.
She should never drive.
Forget it! You tricked me!
I'm sorry, buddy, but no son of mine's
很抱歉 伙计 但我的儿子
going to high school without at least knowing
how to do a proper box step.
Trust me, dancers always get the girls.
Remember the great Kevin Bacon
More like "Footloser."
All right, no more talking. We're doing this.
好了 废话少说 必须去学
You'll thank me someday.
It gets better when you find your signature move!
They used to call me "King of the dips"!
Why can't we just repurpose some of the stuff
from manny's party last night?
We got half a cake left.
The balloons are fine.
It's bad enough that both my sons
have to share the same birthday.
At least they deserve their own party.
You think Joe's gonna mind day-old cake?
He can't even eat it. He's got three teeth.
I'll remember that in 20 years
when you want cake.
He doesn't even know the party's for him.
He understands more than you think.
Who, F-Jo here? He is smart as a whip.
谁 乔老弟吗 他聪明得很
When we play peek-a-boo, half the time he's ahead of me.
Not exactly "Clash of the Titans."
Manny, whose coat is that?
Amy Martin left it here last night after my party.
I was getting some pretty strong signals from her.
I think she did it on purpose
so she'd have an excuse to come back.
Or because she couldn't get out fast enough.
If she was a cartoon,
she'd have left her skin here.
What does that mean?
That Amy is out of his league.
He always does this and ends up getting hurt.
- You need to talk to him. - And say what?
Tell him to go for girls he stands a chance with.
I overheard him talking to Reuben.
There's some girl that really likes him,
but of course Manny's not interested in her.
He's got to go for the head cheerleader.
How do you know that Amy's the head cheerleader?
I overheard that, too.
For someone whose favorite words at the movies
are, "What did he say?"
you overhear pretty good.
Yes, Lily, I-I pinky-promise
没错 莉莉 我拉钩发誓
that we'll be home in time for baby Joe's party.
I am. I'm touching to the phone.
Yeah, and butterfly kisses.
Little girls -- so excitable.
I was wishing they had a gazebo, and then they did!
Ever since I was a little boy, I have dreamed --
dreamed of getting married in a place exactly like this.
So, what date were you looking at?
That's the anniversary of our first date.
Oh, wait, um, I'm sorry. Is this price per person?
等等 抱歉 请问这是每人的价格吗
Yes, excluding alcohol, cake, and music.
是的 不包括酒水 蛋糕和伴奏
What's that -- the Mennonite package?
I think you'll find our prices are competitive.
Well, I'm ready to commit.
Can -- can we have a moment, please?
Okay, well, let's hope he's not having any last-minute jitters.
You're not having last-minute jitters, are you?
No, no, but it's a really large deposit,
不 不 但那真是一大笔钱
and I want to make sure
that we're absolutely certain about this place.
and we've looked at every possible venue.
And Pepper was by far the least snarky
He doesn't throw the word "Adequate" around lightly.
- Okay, okay, it's this place. - Okay.
-好的 就定这里了 -好的
But stop being so excited, all right?
We might be able to get the price down a little bit.
Okay, okay, poker face, poker face.
好的 好的 冷面无情 冷面无情
- Yeah, now work on your poker voice. - Poker voice.
So, we do like it.
We're just not sure that we love it.
Yeah, we're not sure we love it.
Oh, that's a relief
because someone just called.
- The room is booked. - What?!
No, no, no! Okay, wait,
are you playing hardball?
Because we're playing hardball, too!
A young lady planning a sweet 16
just booked your date.
After that, we don't have another opening for...
- two months. - No.
No, it has to be on our anniversary.
Wait, did Tracy Mccoy book this room?
Tracy Mccoy's a student of mine.
Okay, I may have a plan.
I am not having a wedding/"Hunger games"-themed
sweet 16 par--
oh, you're tapping your fingers.
You really do have a plan.
Well, somebody smells good.
What perfume is that?
20 of the sweatiest, geekiest girls
God ever fouled this planet with
and just me dancing with all of them!
During the charleston,
my hair got caught in one of their headgear!
Wow, Charleston on the first day?
Just because you're a dancer
doesn't mean I have to be one, too, cha cha cha.
I'm never gonna fall for one of your lies again.
Just take me to autopsy camp.
Oh, shoot. Am I gonna get a ticket?
If there's any justice,
it'll be a big one, two, three, and four.
License and registration, please.
Absolutely. There you are.
You know one of your taillights is out?
No, I did not. What a ding-dong!
不 我没注意 真是不小心啊
Will do. We'll be right here.
This is what you get for lying to me.
What choice did I have? You used to be up for anything.
Now, no matter what I suggest, it's no, no, no.
It's called growing up and having your own interests,
like the minister's daughter
in your precious "Footloose."
Wow, using my own movie against me.
Let's hear it for the boy.
Please step out of the car.
Oh, I believe you about the taillight.
- Out of the car! - Okay.
I'm sorry, but I have to place you under arrest.
A car registered to you
has accumulated 18 unpaid parking violations...
all on campus drive.
Oh, my god, those are my daughter's tickets!
He's got an answer for everything.
I got to take you down to the station house.
You can ride up front with me.
Seriously, can't I just pay you for them now?!
At the station house, sir.
Can we at least not drive by middle earth comics
and trampoline world?!
People look up to me in this town!
No, honey, Luke's fine.
不 亲爱的 卢克没事
And they won't take a credit card?
No, it's $1,600, cash only.
不接受 1600元 只收现金
But, honey, it's Sunday.
可是 亲爱的 今天是周日
I can only get a few hundred bucks from the ATM.
Sir, your time's up.
Honey, just use the emergency cash, okay?
- Tick-Tock. -Uh, b-but, Phil --
-时间到 -可是 菲尔
- Got to go! - No, honey --
-我得挂了 -不 亲爱的
I forgot the hiding place! Phil?
Phil has $1,000 hidden in the house,
and he's made up a crazy mnemonic device
to remember the location,
which he changes every month to stay ahead of the bad guys.
"Loot" rhymes with "Coot,"
which takes us to...
this picture of your grandfather.
"Moola" sounds like "Coola."
Money is in the air-conditioning vent.
This will all be over soon, buddy.
Just give me one last smile!
Mom's already on her way with the money, okay? Don't worry!
Oh, my god, I don't want to go in there!
You're going in here.
I don't want to go in here!
Okay. This is where Sophie works.
She's the one in the hat.
- Copy that. - Tracy works upstairs.
We'll meet in the food court in 30 minutes. Sound like a plan?
A plan, not sure if it's a finger-drumming plan.
Two of my students, Tracy and Sophie, BFFs,
were planning on having a joint sweet 16 together
until they got in a fight over a boy, Rodney.
Now Tracy is planning on having her own party
at the carriage house.
Our venue, our date.
So, our solution -- talk to them, patch things up
so that they have their party together again
at the original location.
Friends fighting over a boy --
something we know a thing or two about.
Of course, usually it's gay men, not teenage girls,
so we will have to adjust our approach just a -- not at all.
Uh, may I help you?
Mm, yeah, uh, Sophie.
Um, I'm looking for something for my niece.
She's been really bummed out lately --
fight with her best friend -- so I'm just --
I'm trying to cheer her up.
Yeah, she's always saying to me,
"Uncle Mitch, you're so cool. You're so rad.
米奇叔叔 你真酷 又那么时髦
I'm so glad I talk to you about my problems."
You know, I just -- I really get kids that age.
You know, she's -- she's almost 16, so...
I didn't know you were old enough to have a job.
I didn't have a job until I was 16.
Well, I'm almost 16, so...
Oh, my gosh, I remember back then.
My friends and I had so much fun,
well, when we weren't arguing
about silly things like parties and...
Okay, that's a lot of mirror looking,
and that's me saying that.
Nice cruising speed.
Oh, look, there's that jogger.
Now we're in the lead.
Can we put the brakes on the sarcasm?
They're worn out.
Haley, listen to me.
You did not pay a bunch of parking tickets,
and now your father is in jail.
And I have to go bail him out
just as soon as I can get my hands on a giant pile of cash.
You are in so much trouble.
Oh, don't you think I know that?!
What am I gonna do?!
You're going to get what you deserve.
A parking violation is second only to a moving violation,
which is grounds for the loss of a driving privilege.
Privilege, not a right.
Oh, my god, shut up!
This is why mom pays me to drive with you!
Where do you think she's calling me from --
the closet and blinds union?
Why would closet workers and blind people
even have a union together?!
Excuse me, waiter.
Could you please tell me about the surf and turf?
Mr. Lobster says...
While Mr. Cow goes...
"I think you should probably just have the pasta."
No, no, no, little man.
不 不 不对 宝宝
That's your dada right there with the drinky.
Don't feel bad. He's just making sounds.
He may not even know what the "D" word means.
I'm fine. He's 1.
I've watched him pee into his own face and smile.
I wanted to talk to you.
What are you doing?
I decided to top Amy's little "Forgotten Coat" trick
with a romantic gesture of my own.
Yes, about Amy...
I know that I don't know her,
But she seems like some of those girls that you have liked,
but they haven't always--
You may not know her, but I do.
I went on her Facebook page,
and I put one of her favorite things
in each of the pockets of her coat.
So when she reaches inside--
she'll find a small box of Dutch chocolates.
Raspberry rhapsody lip gloss, anyone?
My favorite, but I still wonder--
Hello, heavenly soak bath salts.
What next will she find?!
Only a lily of the valley scented candle.
Oh, I wish she had more pockets!
"Bucks" rhymes with "Nyuks" --
"Wampum," "Pom-pom" --
Come on. Oh, my god, really?
拜托 天呐 真的要这么难么
"Bank," "Sank" --
Novelization of the movie "Titanic."
Then why do we keep that thing?!
Oh, Phil, of course!
Of course, because "Dough" rhymes with--
That's right. He's your dad.
Hi, dad. Hi, dad.
你好 爸爸 你好 爸爸
Come on, say, "Dad."
Hey. How'd it go with Sophie?
I did my best, but I don't think she's ready to forgive.
I know. We're screwed.
Yeah, thanks a lot, Sophie.
Well, Tracy really was out of line.
- Was she? - Yeah.
Or was Sophie, per usual, being a big drama queen?
No, Tracy was spreading rumors
that Sophie's boyfriend was still into Maya.
They weren't rumors.
She heard it directly from someone
who saw Maya and Rodney holding hands at the pier.
Cam, who? Dana!
小卡 谁看见的啊 是黛娜
Yeah, like she can be trusted.
This is Aidan all over again.
Mitchell, it's from Tracy.
"Mr.Tucker, thank you.
"Talked to Sophie.
Party's back on."
Are you kidding me?
Oh, my gosh, you're an evil genius!
You are! You know what?
I give Tracy a lot of credit for admitting she was wrong. I do.
Yeah, even though it was Sophie's fault.
- No! - Hmm? What?
They're still using our venue!
No! Are you kidding me?!
- This is so frustrating! - Really?
Are you sure that's how you feel,
or do you need a little more time to think about it?
Sounds like you're trying to make a point there.
Wow, I'm surprised you picked up on that so quick.
Yeah, you're definitely dancing around something.
I feel like it's speed-related.
Yeah, we lost the carriage house because you,
couldn't make a timely decision.
We were out of the room for two second--
What is this "True to form" business?
28 Richdale Road.
Oh, my god, are you kidding me?
You hemmed and hawed over our dream house,
and now somebody else is eating breakfast in our nook!
I needed the weekend!
I never saw myself in a ranch!
And what about Las Vegas
when you couldn't quite commit to the show?
No. No, no, don't.
No, no, no, it's fine.
We'll see them next time,
just as soon as that tiger un-eats Roy.
First, I thought just a little accent of color
was all it needed, but now I'm thinking balloons.
Jay, what do you like better--
the accent or the balloons?
I've been asking myself that since I met you.
I want this type of playful banter in my relationship.
As long as you say it someplace else.
What are you doing? They're gonna be here any moment.
I've been combing through Manny's yearbook.
I found a few girls he might have a shot with.
Happen to know what Lisa Nagel's like from the neck down?
I didn't tell him what you told me to say.
Because he told me what he's going to do when Amy comes here,
and it's beautiful.
I think he has a better chance than you think.
He knows how to talk to girls.
He knows how to talk to a girl
I hope you have a recent picture of his heart.
You're gonna need it putting the pieces back together.
Hi, Phil. I heard about jail.
- How are you doing? - It was rough.
Stayed in that cold cell
a lot longer than I needed to thanks to my lovely --
Your system is ridiculous, Phil.
Quite simple, actually!
"Cheddah" rhymes with "Hedda."
Where do you rest your head on? Your pilla!
- Help me out, buddy. - I have no buddy.
-不是吗 哥们 -我没有哥们
Would you please just let it go?
I did let it go immediately.
You're the one who hesitated,
like you do with everything.
The whole way here.
Dad, before you get mad, I'm --
爸 在你发火之前 我...
Oh, we passed "Before I get mad" hours ago
when I was sitting in solitary for your crime!
It was only solitary because no one else was in there.
You paid Haley to take me driving?
Haley told me everything!
You made up a fake union
just so you wouldn't have to be with me?!
Alex, I am so sorry.
Haley, I trusted you.
Good luck trusting anyone in this family,
Usually when I drag you kicking and screaming to something,
you thank me afterwards.
This time, I was wrong.
He lied me into a dance class.
Luke, I am so sorry.
Haley, you are in so much trouble!
Stop trying to make this her fault!
What kind of parents lie to their kids?!
Yeah, what kind of lesson is that to teach all of this?
Yeah, seriously, sometimes I want --
Hey, neither one of you knows the whole story.
Let me tell them the truth.
Alex, the real reason
mom doesn't want to teach you to drive
is because she doesn't want you getting your license.
- What? - Think about it.
Mom driving you around is kind of her favorite time with you.
It's the only place where your nose isn't buried in a book
and she can actually talk to you.
Sure, you're getting your license,
but she's losing her little girl.
Mom, is that true?
And the only reason dad lied to you is...
Should I tell him, dad?
Dad was a huge nerd in college.
He asked mom out like 10 times, and she always said no.
Finally, he said, "I'll never bug you again
最终 他说 只要你做一件事
- if you do one thing." - Just one.
- "Dance with me." - Just dance.
He spun her around on the floor
and expressed himself with his body
- in a way he never could with words. - That's beautiful.
Mom finally saw the dad
that we all know and love.
And you wanted to give that to me?
Everybody, come for cake!
We can discuss my punishment later.
Did she learn that from us?
That can't be taught. It is a gift.
Yeah, she's still doing it,
following me around all moony-eyed.
She just won't get the message.
But on the bright side, Amy's on her way over.
Got to go, Reuben.
- What's up? - It's about your love life.
A lot of people here, Jay.
Consider it an intervention.
Now, this whole Amy thing is going nowhere,
but it sounds like you have a girl that really likes you.
Now, I know it's not everything you want.
M-maybe she's a little thick in the middle.
But why don't you give her a try?
So you think that's the girl I should go for?
She's obviously crazy about you.
I mean, what else do you even know about her?
Well, she's 6 and related to me.
Okay, that explains all the outfits
she rejected this morning.
The point remains.
You could lower your sights a little.
Good, we're still talking about this.
Ay, leave him alone.
When Amy comes, she's going to love her coat surprise.
This girl Jay doesn't think is into me,
but she left her coat here.
Why else would a person do that?
By that logic, I love Denny's.
Even if she's not into me right away,
isn't it possible she could fall for me over time?
No, there's a thing called chemistry.
People know right away.
I didn't know immediately that I liked you.
Well, maybe not the first minute.
Some people can trust their instincts
and leap in with both feet.
Others need to take their time.
Okay, what Cam is so subtly implying
is that he knew instantly with me
while I, as usual, took my sweet time.
I knew instantly with you.
- Actually, I didn't. - Okay, well, yes,
if you count that one disastrous brunch, then --
- two months. - Two months?!
- Mm-hmm. - Yikes!
Well, I'm in the Jay camp.
When you meet the right person, bang!
That's what happened with -- How long?
Six months -- Yikes.
But you were preg-- tically engaged to me by then.
Mm, nice save, dad.
I thought you fell in love with him
after he danced with you.
And that was six months in.
Why did it take you so long to dance with me, Phil?
I don't know, Claire.
You'd think I would've gotten to it by then
since we lived together.
I'm sorry. I've been berating you about dragging your feet, and,
and when it comes to us,
I'm even more hesitate-y than --
No, no, this is great because
that makes our real anniversary
two months later when we were both sure.
We can still book the carriage house for our wedding.
Oh, my gosh, are you calling them?
- Call them. - Okay.
So, you were living with this guy the whole time...
- Jay! - Aww, how cute!
No, no, listen, listen, listen!
不 不 认真听
He's saying, "Jay"!
And that "J" word, that's harder to say than "Dada"!
He's a genius. Come here.
This is it, Manny!
Go get her, buddy!
Hey, hey, hey, listen, kid.
Y-you might've been right about some people
needing a little more time before they come around.
I mean, look at peanut here.
Good luck, Manny.
So, it took you six months, huh, Phil?
I can do six months.
I'm not loving this.
His door is still closed.
What is he doing in there?
I think we both know what he's doing in there.
He's been at it for hours.
That's how I was at his age.
He's gonna wear himself out.
You should talk to him.
I don't want to embarrass him.
- So, knock first. - Maybe you're right.
I don't want him doing it wrong and getting hurt.
Dad?! Get out of here!
Don't be embarrassed, son. It's perfectly natural!