Oh, my goodness, those hands are cold.
At least, buy me dinner first.
Tell my wife and kids I love them.
That's kind of dark, mom.
Wait, what's my favourite hospital food?
No, today is still good.
Good for what? Who's buddy?
Yeah, just head over on to the house.
Whose house? Who's buddy?
OK, see you in a couple.
Couple of what? Who's buddy?
- Kenneth? - Kenneth!
If I had a son, I'd want him to be like Kenneth Ploufe.
You do have a son.
When we first moved in here,
He was the sweet kid who lived next door.
Mm, the weird kid who lived next door,
But Phil always had a soft spot for him
Because Kenneth sort of looked up to him.
I wouldn't say hero.
Well, you weren't going to.
Claire's always had some issues with Kenneth.
He would stare at me a little too long.
You used to dress sexy back then.
Ten years. Can you believe it?
I feel like we ended that last hug too soon.
Oh, wow, that's a lot of hugging.
Oh! She's right. Why hug when you can...
她说得对 为什么要拥抱 明明可以直接...
- Man-shake. - Man-shake.
I'm gonna get the coffee.
Roll up the curtain.
I don't know what's worse--
That he competes every Thanksgiving in a pie-eating contest,
or that he's 9-time runner-up.
It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the contest.
I think I have to tell my pumpkin chunkin story.
Oh, no, no, you don't have to.
No, I kind of think I have to.
Once, Cam and his friends
tried to slingshot a pumpkin across a football field.
That's all he needs to tell that story.
So the fog was rolling in over the mountains
Like an ominous blanket
As we readied the giant slingshot.
You know, Lorna, the pastor's daughter,
She was nervous because like I said, it was after curfew.
She was a goody two-shoe.
Only pastor's daughter I ever met that was.
So we finally launch the pumpkin,
And it sails through the air, goalpost to goalpost...
Past the end zone, into the parking lot,
Through the open roof of Lorna's dad's car.
I turn to Cody and I say,
"Now what are the chances of that landing there?"
"The sunroof of a preacher man."
Ah! Okay, what are we looking at?
My centerpiece for Thanksgiving.
It is wonderful. You're so talented.
I can't believe that you did this.
Yeah, my juices were really flowing on this one.
是吧 我自己欣赏的时候 也口水直流
I actually shot a making-of video.
Hey, maybe we can watch it later at the party.
Well, yeah, that or football.
Mi amor, I'm so proud of you.
Is there nothing in the world that you can't do?
Centerpieces, for starters.
Why do you say everything of his is great,
Even if it isn't?
Because I'm building him up.
That's what parents do.
Too much, if you ask me.
Kids cross the street nowadays, they get a ribbon.
Manny's got plenty of confidence.
He just needs a little reality check every now and then.
And this thing is a horn of ugly.
My mother used to criticize everything I did.
And look at me now.
I am a jumble of insecurities.
I'm not getting that.
Do not say a word to Manny.
Fine. But trust me,
If you told him the truth, he'd thank you later.
Mm. Like Claire and Mitch? Did they thank you?
Ah! So many memories in this place. Yeah.
Do you guys still have, like, every cereal?
Yeah! Of course you do. Of course you do.
You only have the greatest dad in the world.
So what have you been up to?
I haven't seen you since you went off to college.
Oh, you know, actually, that didn't work out so well.
I bounced around for a while.
Ended up washing dishes in New Mexico.
So without the benefit of a college degree,
I guess your options were kind of limited, huh?
Ease up. It's a holiday.
Yeah, it was--it was tough. Oh, no. no, thank you.
是啊 是很艰难 不 不 谢谢
- Thank you, though, sweetie. You're so sweet. - Oh. Okay.
-谢谢你 甜心 你真好 -好吧
It was tough for a while...
But then a roommate and I started our own business.
Oh, was that also in the dish or cleaning industry?
It was actually a small investment company.
Well, small at first.
You know, we rode the tech wave for a while,
then expanded into video games,
amusement parks, sports arenas.
Anything that seemed awesome, really.
I'm actually in town to buy a blimp.
So if you--if you'd gone to college,
you would have done all that just four years later,
Alex really needs to be picked up,
Sweetie. Why don't you go get her?
I wanna hear more of what he has to say about
Kenneth, I am so proud of you.
You really made it.
Well, I did get one pretty lucky break.
Early on, I met a very special guy
who taught me that what I thought and said had value.
Oh, you mean like--
Shh. Luke. Let the man talk.
He encouraged me to always find the fun
and follow this thing.
- Your lung? - No, my heart.
-你的肺吗 -不 我的心
To this day, at every crossroad,
I ask myself one question--
What would Phil Dunphy do?
Oh, that's me buzzin'.
She's my assistant in Tokyo.
You'd think they'd know how to demo 4-d gaming graphics without my help
They don't. Hey, luke,
完全搞不定 嘿 卢克
what instrument does Yo-Yo Ma play?
And he's spectacular.
Kenneth Ploufe is part owner of a resort in the Bahamas,
some cruise line,
And Lacy Fair, that lingerie company.
Oh! Ew! I'm wearing one of his bras!
Look, he's got a model in his lap.
- No way. - Look at her.
This is your fault!
Are you seriously gonna stay in here all day?
I can't face mom.
If I see her, I'm gonna have to confess.
Take a breather. It's just a dent.
And saying nothing is not lying, okay?
It's just letting the truth speak for itself.
This is not the time for moral equivocation.
Okay, I don't know what that means,
and also, don't tell me.
You're the one who's gonna lose her driving privileges.
I don't know why you're so calm.
All we have to do is keep it from mom
until she goes to the store.
Then, when she sees it, she'll assume that it happened there,
然后 她发现了的话 也会觉得是在商店撞的
which it did, so it's not really lying.
Listen to you.
Are you gonna be a career criminal?
Ugh. You sound like mom.
I don't know what I'm gonna do after high school.
It was a supportive "Wah-wah."
I was trying to save the moment.
There's no such thing as a supportive "Wah-wah."
A "Wah-wah" By its very nature is vicious and undercutting.
Well, I was just trying to salvage that story, okay?
I told you not to tell it,
You told it, and it died.
It did not die. It's a thinker.
Cam, the only thing people were thinking was,
"Thank god this story's over."
So how long have I been embarrassing you with my stories?
No, no, no, no. You don't embarrass me.
I love your stories, okay?
The tractor in the swimming hole?
Aunt Betty's wiglet on the piglet?
Uncle Carl said she couldn't tell 'em apart.
See? Those are funny. You have so many great ones.
是吧 好好笑啊 多么五彩斑斓的童年趣事啊
Well, that's farm life.
Rain or shine, there's always a bumper crop of stories.
Yeah, I'm just saying maybe
you take punkin chunkin out of the rotation.
I guess you're right. Maybe I could just--
Yeah, stick to the ones that really happened,
because people love those.
Excuse me. What?
I'm--I'm just saying people laugh more at stories that are true.
Punkin chunkin is a true story.
The length of a football field,
Through the sunroof of a car that was open in late November in Missouri?
It was unseasonably warm.
That explains the fog rolling over the hill.
Who you're close enough to chunk with
but mysteriously only appears in this story?
Cody was K.I.A. In desert storm.
You know, all this from someone
who's never even chunked a punkin.
Well, I've never lunked a tunkin, either.
You know, these aren't real things.
This'll work, right?
Why have one long table
when you can use four little ones bistro style?
I'll bet this is how the French do Thanksgiving.
You don't mind sitting with your Uncle Mitch
And, uh, grandpa, do you?
Anything's better than watching Lily chew.
this is the side of your old man that Kenneth was talking about.
So Kenneth became a gajillionaire
by asking himself, "What would Phil do?"
Where did that come from? Right?
Why aren't we gojillionaires?
Why don't you do what Phil would do?
Phil, why didn't you just put the extra leaves in the table?
Trying to have some fun, be creative.
One long table, honey.
If it was good enough for the last supper,
it's good enough for us.
I'm having second thoughts about this centerpiece.
- Ay, no. - Hear him out.
I just think if we bring it to Phil and Claire's,
we'll never see it again, right?
Well, that would be sad.
Except maybe my sadness will inspire me
to create something even greater.
Remember that collage I made
that helped us get through Katrina?
You did this. You know that.
is this the legendary rice pilaf we've been hearing about?
Used to make it every year,
but it, uh, started to upstage the turkey.
- Something wrong? - Not so much wrong as missing.
It--it just tastes a little flat.
I just think with the earthiness of the rice,
you might want something zesty to set it off.
I think this might be a job for cumin.
You know, since we're sharing
- helpful criticisms-- - no, no, no, no.
nobody's sharing anything. Manny, go change for the party.
谁都别再说了 曼尼 去换衣服
No, no, no, but I appreciate helpful criticisms.
It, uh, it's important for me that I hear the truth.
Makes me stronger,
less of a mama's boy.
Yeah, mom, he can take it.
没错 妈 他承受得了
That's what he says,
but you don't really know what he feels underneath.
Some people are so sensitive,
that they hear one criticism,
and it kills the spark that made them special.
I think I know what's going on here.
This is about you and your mom, isn't it?
Manny, don't upset me anymore.
What--what should I wear?
Ay, you look good in everything!
Where you going, mom?
Mm, I gotta run to the store.
Someone ate all the marshmallows.
Hey, can I tell you something?
I was thinking that maybe after new year's break,
we could visit a couple more colleges.
- Seriously? - I was so hard on you before.
I'm sorry. I know I'm no Kenneth.
I'm gonna need all the help that I can get.
Honey, I am so proud of you. Oh.
- Oh, okay. - What are you doing?
Oh, uncle Mitch is picking up the marshmallows.
Then again, backpacking through Europe
could be educational in its own way.
No! No, no! No, no, no!
别 别 别
Do you know what's illegal in Europe?
You are going to college!
Darn right it's fine.
My hair's coming out!
Wow, honey. I-I think you could make these simpler.
Just, you know, sort of do 'em flat and on the side.
Hmm. Yeah. Seems like that's how you like me.
Flat and on the side.
You know what? Sometimes I need to be puffed up and frilly.
All right, is this one of
those moments I'm gonna have to remember later
when they ask me if there were any signs?
This is what Phil would do--
Make fantastic napkin origami
that startles and delights his guests.
I know, but, sweetie,
they're just looking a little...
Claire, you always do this. You squelch me.
克莱尔 你总是这样 你总打击我
You squelch me right when I'm about to soar.
Honey, you're folding napkins.
You're folding my dreams!
You know what Kenneth told me?
The secret to his success--
his whole career, he's tried to emulate me.
The only difference is,
he hasn't had someone constantly telling him what not to do.
So the only reason we don't have a-a blimp tethered to our mailbox
is because I'm always shooting down your great ideas?
Let's review the squelch pile, Phil.
Let's see-- the rice pudding franchise.
Works for all chewing abilities.
Just try to fall off.
Some people have a hard time swallowing!
And you left one out. Hmm.
And that, my dear Claire, is a real head-scratcher--
[Head-scratcher原意为伤脑筋的问题 此处取本意 挠头器]
You look like you had a rough day at the office.
The stress from my job at the robot assassin factory...
Is too much to take.
Aw, shoot me an aspirin, pal.
But until then, try this on for size.
The real head-scratcher features 32 patent-pending "Nogginizers"
That gently massage your scalp
In a soothing purr of motorized delight.
Ahh. It feels great,
And it looks good, too.
It's a real lifesaver.
You mean a real head-scratcher?
- But you-- - Stop.
I love your "I love you."
I'm getting awful tired of your "But."
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Hey, is that a new car?
Yep! It's the best, isn't it?
I can't take my eyes off it.
You shouldn't, either.
Are you okay, mami?
Hey, guys! Now the party's started. Come on!
大家好啊 派对开始了 快进去吧
- How are you? - Good.
Oh, good. It's still in one piece.
You hit those potholes pretty hard.
It's like you didn't see 'em.
Can I be honest with you, Jay?
I'm getting the sense
that you're not the biggest fan of "Allegria"?
You got a name for it now? Great.
All right. Cards on the table?
This is not your best work.
Now look, don't get me wrong.
You're a talented kid.
You're gonna be a big success in the world.
But this... this is a swing and a miss.
- Well, but my mom said it was-- - It's great, yeah, I know.
-不过妈说 -你妈说很好 我知道
But how did she say it?
There's a big difference between "It's great," and "It's great."
"It's great," And "It's great."
All I hear is a bunch of people telling me I'm great.
And that's a problem, because a lot of times
people will lie to you to protect your feelings,
And that's not doing you any favors.
You get a lot farther in life
if you know what you're good at and what you're not.
Now you can handle that, right?
- Yeah. - Of course you can.
How you doing, honey?
Okay, everybody, come on!
好了 大伙儿 动起来
Two minutes till dinner! Get ready!
Oh, wow, Manny. What have you got there?
哇塞 曼尼 手上端的什么啊
He made a centerpiece!
- Oh, that's fantastic. - It's stunning.
What are you doing? It's so beautiful!
Jay told me the truth.
What did you say?
I mentioned it wasn't his best effort.
He said it was a swing and a miss.
Why?! Why do you say these things, jay?!
为什么 为什么你要泼冷水啊 杰
It's like I married my mother!
Jay, why would you do that?
Because he's a Pritchett.
But don't let these negative nellies drag you down, Manny,
Because one day you could have a trillion-dollar idea
-that the people who supposedly love you most-- - Okay, Phil!
That's it. Go get the head-scratcher.
The real head-scratcher, "Tm"?
Go get it, and let everybody else decide
how many trillions I've cost you.
Way ahead of you.
What's going on here?
We are about to make hat history.
Or as I like to call it, "Hatstory."
Early man had hours and hours to scratch his weary head.
But what about today's busy times?
Thank you, squire.
Great thing about this?
You can wear it anywhere.
It's like a thousand tiny angels
are line dancing on my sca--
I... it looks like we got a slight malfunction in a rear nogginizer.
Oh! Shut her down! Shut her down, buddy!
不要啊 快关了 快关了啊伙计
- It's not working! - My hair! It's got my hair!
-停不了啊 -一剪没啊 发如血啊
Forgot about that feature. It's an exfoliating... scrub.
Buddy, can you grab the safety shears?
You know what, Phil? Keep it up.
我告诉你 菲尔 坚持就是胜利
And I admire you and Manny.
I know what it's like to stare down skepticism from a loved one.
Why not now? It's Thanksgiving.
Families gather. Issues come up.
Only if you bring them up.
It's healthy to get things out in the open.
Y'all know my punkin chunkin story,
or do you need a refresher?
- We've heard it. -Oh, several times.
With Cody and the friends?
Yes. So you know how it ends.
But the question is, who here thinks I made that up?
Oh. Well, doesn't that tell the whole story right there?
看吧 简直是泾渭分明 清清楚楚啊
Here we have the skeptics, the dream-squashers...
And here we have the dreamers, the artists, the visionaries.
So we're supposed to believe that
you make a-a pumpkin fly across a football field.
Yeah. I can prove it to you right now.
Let's go to the football field.
Yes! Let's do this. I'd love to end this.
行 去就去 我希望争议就此结束
Yeah! Let's settle this!
Dreamers versus Pritchetts!
Bravo! Bravo! When I say "Punkin," You say "Chunkin"!
- Punkin! Punkin! - No, no, no!
-南瓜 南瓜 -不 停下来
Hold it! I did not just cook for eight hours
so you people could run off to prove some asinine point
that's only gonna make half of us feel bad!
Come on! Show a little respect.
Turkey smells great, sweetheart.
Because something smells like chicken.
- Okay, let's settle this. - Yeah.
-好吧 我们一决胜负吧 -太好了
Vamos, vamos! Jay, I drive!
大家来吧 杰 我开车
When I say "Punkin," You say "Chunkin"!
This is the coolest thing ever.
Okay, I want to film.
Ay, no, wait, I want to be in it.
不 等一下 我也要露个脸
Hey, Cam, are you sure this is going to work?
Oh, god, you sound just like Cody.
Do you think this could launch a human?
- Let's do the pumpkin first. - Okay.
They're having fun over there,
but you know it's gonna end in tears.
Yeah, always does.
Knock-knock. Who's there?
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Who's gonna be able to launch it?
I think it should be Cam!
Oh, no! I think it should be all of us!
All of us! All of us!
Just get right here. Whoo!
For the record, I don't squash all of Phil's dreams.
Just the ones that are, you know, potentially fatal.
只是那些 可能会 注定悲剧的
I'm just trying to get the kid ready for life.
Yeah. Yes, I-if we didn't do this to them,
the world would.
Okay, everybody, in final launching positions?
Get ready to eat some crow!
It is not as delicious as it sounds.
What happened, Cam?
I don't know. I-I don't know.
我不知道 我 我不知道
Can we do it again?
No, we only had one pumpkin,
and we just chunk it.
- Well, we were right. - Aw, yeah.
-就说嘛 我们是对的 -哈 是的
This usually feels a little better, doesn't it?
- Yeah. - Huh? Mm.
All right. I-I hate to admit it,
but when they put the pumpkin in,
I was kind of hoping it would work.
- Yeah. - Me, too.
All right! Let the gloating begin.
You know, it was a pretty good try.
We don't need your pity.
Let's just get this stuff cleaned up.
Well--or if--if maybe we, um...
- We launch it from a steeper angle? - Yeah.
Then...maybe if you had somebody else,
you know, helping you pull the thing.
But we don't have any more pumpkins.
That's the easy part!
They're on every porch up and down the block.
- Oh, we can handle that. Come on, kid! - Yeah.
-我们可以搞定 来吧 -是的
Come on. Let's try one.
Okay! All right! Let's do it!
I say "Punkin," Gang says "Chunkin"!
There are dreamers and there are realists in this world.
You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers
and the realists would find the realists,
but more often than not, the opposite is true.
Maybe if this works,
we should launch my centerpiece next.
It wasn't that bad.
Your rice pilaf was.
Oh! Oh! Keep going, keep going! Keep going!
好 好 继续用力 继续用力
You see, the dreamers need the realists
to keep them from soaring too close to the sun.
And the realists...
Well, without the dreamers,
they might not ever get off the ground.
Okay! Next one's going through the--the goal thingy,
Now when Lorna, Cody, and I did this, it was--
less talkin', more chunkin.
Mom, I need to tell you something.
What is it, honey?
I distracted Haley while she was driving,
And we dented your car.
Three more seconds, and you would have gotten away with it.