Are -- Are you awake?
I slept for six minutes two hours ago.
I'm gonna have to take a sleeping pill,
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m 211 -8 b b b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
which means you're gonna have to hide my car keys,
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最新连载海外影视剧下载仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
laptop, and Reba McEntire wig.
It's been a crazy couple days.
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
Uh, yesterday, I found out I didn't get
the college football coaching job that I had been chasing.
I was -- I was devastated.
And moments before that,
we got a phone call from our old adoption agency
with the opportunity for us to adopt a baby boy.
So, a door closes...
A window opens. But do you answer it?
就会给你打开一扇窗 但是 你该去应窗吗
You don't answer windows.
Well, how fun for you. Cam made a little mistake.
I keep making lists of all the pros and cons in my head.
Uh, the -- the way a baby smells is on both.
Okay, alright. Pros, go.
好吧 说说利项 开始
Okay, well, a baby to love. The sound of giggling.
好的 有个孩子让我们爱 孩子咯咯笑的声音
You know, a bigger family,
an extra vote on whether to pull the plug on us when we get old.
I'm worried that Lily has an itchy trigger finger.
Yeah, and another child would help us figure out
how much of Lily's personality is our fault
and what's on her.
It would be nice to be vindicated.
Okay, other pros -- Christmases.
Dipping little toes into the ocean for the first time,
the way a toddler run towards the door
in their jammies saying, "Daddy!"
Okay, you'd better hit me with some cons.
I'm practically ovulating.
Okay, no sleep, car seats, diapers,
好吧 没有觉睡 车要装婴儿座椅 换尿布
coughs and colds, all -- all the doctor's appointments,
- plastic toys everywhere. - Everywhere.
Our -- Our place is already too small.
We don't have enough bedrooms.
Oh, God, the clock is ticking.
We have half a day to give them an answer.
Okay, you know what, no thinking.
On the count of three, say yes or no.
- I don't know. - I can't decide!
Why is there a black Suburban outside with a driver?
My company sent it.
I'm manning the Helo Dynamics booth
for the job recruitment fair at Caltech.
Look at you, being chauffeured in a giant SUV.
When I picture you driving, you're crying in a Prius.
I do cry less when I'm driven.
And that outfit is on point.
Well, I mean, it's -- it's sort of a triumphant return for me.
I spent four years there in sweats, with greasy hair,
caring only about grades.
The only time anyone ever noticed me
was when I pulled out all my eyebrows during finals week.
Now I have a big job, swanky apartment,
shoes that cost more than my first laptop...
Oh, it's like a rom-com --
you left a nerd and returned a hot nerd.
Speaking of hot people,
maybe I should go and recruit for NERP.
For legal reasons,
we need a science-y person to endorse product.
Considering we're all a bunch of people who didn't graduate college,
we sell a lot of products that go inside of you.
Yeah, no, it doesn't really work that way.
A, you have to be invited,
and B, no self-respecting scientist
is going to endorse the nonsense your company is pushing.
Excuse me, but our copper-infused toothpaste
is on the FDA's top ten items to watch, so...
Phil! Phil, can you come in here?
I've worked up a little presentation for my Skype interview,
and I would love to get your feedback.
You've been such a cheerleader for me with all my magic shows
and SCARB dinners, I'd love to be yours.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
I've been out of work for a few months,
and I've gotten kinda antsy.
To channel my anxiety, I have cleaned, I have organized.
为排遣焦虑 我试过打扫卫生 整理物品
Perhaps a bit obsessively.
Doctors were consulted.
One -- a therapist, so not even a real doctor.
就一个 心理治疗师而已 甚至不是真正的医生
But meds were quickly dismissed.
We didn't want the sexual side effects.
I am going to channel my anxiety into a career.
I am interviewing for my dream job --
Senior VP of my favorite organizing chain store, organize 'Em!
I'm so excited, I could have an organaz--
You're better than that.
So, throughout the call,
I'm gonna be referring to this organizational system
that I created using the Organize 'Em products.
- Smart. - Yeah. Watch.
-聪明 -是啊 瞧好了
Oh, Ms. Beckman, what an interesting point.
I should jot that down.
What the hell is that?
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, your dad came over to help me.
I gotta fix that step.
I wiped out this morning and landed on my head.
Yeah, but my call.
We gotta take care of that before someone gets hurt.
I mean, what if it was Haley with the babies? Or Dylan?
- Or...? - Or me. I threw up.
-或者... -或者我 我都摔吐了
Holy Moses. Gloria was here yesterday in heels.
That could've been ugly.
Buddy, you gotta move. Someone's gonna trip over you.
小子 你得挪开 不然你会把别人绊倒的
Hey, guys, we can't do this right now, okay?
各位 你们不能现在干这事 明白吗
I've got -- I've got an interview at 1:23.
Well, that's specific.
No, not for Audrey Beckman.
Her whole life is scheduled down to the second.
She's a god to OCD people.
Why do you think I've got that bumper sticker
that says "Straighten It Like Beckman"?
Can I come down now?
If I don't have the babies' bottles when they wake up,
You're not even in the terrible twos yet.
Oh, when do those start?
Okay, look, it's almost time.
Just please, nobody make any noise,
nobody go in that office.
I have all my ducks in a row.
I'm just gonna run upstairs and change my shirt.
Oh, okay, but be careful.
I know what I'm doing, I have got this.
Oh, boy! Oh, God!
My leg is stuck!
Somebody do something!
I'm really good at getting rings off.
Do you want me to butter your thighs?
Hey, Dylan, sometimes I like to play things out
in my head first, if that's helpful.
Hey, honey, uh, we need to talk to you about something.
Sweetie, this is something pretty big,
and I -- I want you to brace yourself.
The adoption agency called --
I'm not going back!
Do you know what happens to soft, entitled kids in Da Nang?
No, no, no, no, no, no! No, no.
There's a baby boy --
I think you should do it.
- Really? Just -- Just like that? - What?
-真的吗 你这么轻易就同意了 -什么
Whatever stops you dropping by my sleepovers.
You guys are way too focused on me.
Plus, I think it'd be fun to have a baby brother.
Aren't you guys kind of old to be having a baby?
I'm getting into the juicy part of my teen years.
I don't want to have to take over for you.
Okay, we are not that old.
Daddy's 44, and I'm 48.
You do realize when the baby's a senior in high school,
you guys will be senior citizens?
We will not be senior c--
- Cam. - Sixty-six.
I'll be sixty-six.
And I'll be sixty-one.
Not until June!
It's not working! My leg is really stuck in there!
It might be time to return to my idea.
I'm not cutting my leg off.
Think about how fast you would run with a robot leg.
Luke, your mom's not getting a robot leg!
She'd need two, or she'd just run in circles.
Come on, let's check under the stairs.
Yes, please, and hurry!
没错 拜托了 快点
What the hell's the matter with this house?
How could two steps be broken?
My God, the humidity. My hair's gonna frizz out.
天啊 湿气好重 我头发都要变卷了
That's why I never show any pictures from 'Nam.
Oh, no, I totally forgot about the humidifier
for my mushroom log.
It needed darkness and moisture.
It must have rotted the wood.
Wow, honey, you're really wedged in here tight.
Yeah, no kidding.
Why can't you buy your mushrooms at a store,
like a normal person?
You really don't get my generation, Boomer.
Maybe this'll enlighten you.
Get your hand away from my --
Why do I always default to "No"?
Is Gloria right? Should I try slim-cut jeans?
Guys! What's going on down there?!
Your foot's stuck between two copper pipes.
We're gonna have to cut it.
It might take a while.
I don't have a while!
I can't believe this. I'm going to miss my interview.
And this was my dream job!
I was gonna get to organize the whole world.
And now everything is gonna stay so messy.
Can't you just reschedule it?
No! Phil, I'd look like a flake!
不行 菲尔 那我会像个不靠谱的鸽王
This is an organizational company,
not the loosey-goosey world of real estate,
where everything's "See you noon to three,
and I'll bring the cookies"!
Sorry. I'm lashing out.
No, it's okay. The lion doesn't lose sleep
over the opinions of sheep.
Honey, just take the call from there.
How ridiculous would I look taking a call on stairs?
Plus, I need my shelves, 'cause I had this whole thing
再说 我需要那些架子 因为我已经精心
worked out with the products and --
You don't need gimmicks!
You were the C.E.O. for Pritchett's freakin' Closets.
You know how many people can say that?
And Margaret every five years,
when I went under for my colonoscopy.
Fine. Give me my phone.
I'll bomb the interview from right here.
She's lost her confidence. She needs those shelves.
You know what, if she can't get to the office,
we can bring the office to her.
I'm frizzing, aren't I?
I've got to admit, walking onto that campus...
All those eyes on me, the adoration...
It felt good. It felt right.
Like I had earned everything that was coming my way.
Helo Dynamics is evil!
Excuse me? We help people.
Yeah! People like fascists, dictators, oligarchs.
是啊 帮那些法西斯分子 独裁者 寡头
What are you talking about?
We make things like facial scanners
that detect predisposition to genetic diseases.
Which oppressive governments use
to identify political dissidents.
Well, I mean, it's also used on video chats
to turn yourself into a unicorn.
Name one thing more fun!
Why don't you walk your fancy shoes outta here, you sellout?!
Why is someone wearing socks and sandals
yelling at your fabulous shoes?
- Sellout! - I don't know!
And what are you doing here?
Well, I'm recruiting for NERP.
I told you I need a science-y person.
You can't just saunter in here. You have to be approved.
Oh. Hey, kid. You don't care what you look lik. You must be smart.
年轻人 我看你不修边幅 你一定很聪明
Want to work at a place that has a lot of hot girls?
Could you make this horrible situation any worse?
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
- I didn't do that. - Hell no, Helo, it's time you go!
-那不是我干的 -抵制希洛 赶紧滚吧
I've never seen nerds swarm like this before!
We're not typically a clustering people.
Oh, my God. It's Arvin.
Oh, no. I emailed him I'd be here.
Oh, this is gonna be so awkward for me!
The last time I saw him, I broke his heart.
These people hate me so much, they're making eye contact!
What's all the com--
I didn't know you'd be here.
This isn't going to be easy to say.
I got married, and I have twins.
It was the lead story in Dylan's holiday newsletter.
You sure you haven't been stalking a little?
No. No, that's why.
Alex, is this directed at you?
And they are so mean!
Uh, you-you all know I'm a cool guy, right?
I'm chill with you calling me Arvin.
We had class outside that one time.
Will you just give us a minute?
I assure you, she will feel the full effects of my rage.
- So, how have you been? - Not so great.
They're not fans of your employer?
Which is so unfair!
I'm doing very advanced research
that could have far-reaching implications.
Yeah. Of course you are.
How do you sleep at night?!
Okay, so, you, too?
I am not here to judge you or your boss --
Anyway, I just thoht I'd drop by and say a quick hello.
Haley, lovely to see you.
You have to move on.
Alex, I wish you nothing but the best. Okay.
艾丽克斯 祝你一切都好 那好
Right, guys. Now with feeling.
好了 大伙 带点感情
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
Hell no, Helo! It's time you go!
What Lily said really got to us.
Maybe we are too old to have a new baby.
Yesterday, I found hairs on my ears
and I yelled at the local news.
And I called Seinfeld "Steinfeld."
You know, but on the other hand,
there are a lot of men our age having babies.
Yes, but-but they have second wives and nannies --
who are often the same person.
We just needed to talk to a-a parent
that had a baby when they were old.
You must be mistaken, because I had Joe when I was 35.
No, I remember. You had just turned --
不 我记得 你当时已经...
She's not gonna budge.
Okay, j-just tell us, how hard is it?
Well, are there nights where you don't sleep
and you want to kill yourself?
Are there shooting pains in your back
from picking the baby and putting him down?
Okay, well, is there a but?
It's hanging in there, but it's not the same.
Look, I know that you guys worry that you're too old
or too slow to have a baby at this age.
- What the hell was that? - A doll.
It was supposed to prove that you guys were ready to have a baby,
but if this was a real one, you would have killed it.
Well, wouldn't it be your fault for throwing it?
Give me a break. I was trying something.
I'm in the middle of selling a house.
Oh, yeah, it's very cute, by the way.
对了 顺带一提 房子很漂亮
How many bedrooms is it?
Three and a den.
Oh, that's one more than we have.
Mitchell, this house, huh?
Cam, I can't even begin to think about a house
when we haven't even made a decision about whether or not
- we're going to -- - But maybe it's a sign.
You know, the new job goes away, a baby comes along,
and all of a sudden, we're standing in a charming
- three-bedroom -- - Three and a half bath.
Which, holy cow, we could afford if we just switch back
- to grocery store face cream. - No.
And it's in a great school district.
You know what? She's right about that.
They have a full-time nurse.
We have a Band-Aid jar and a can of ginger ale.
Okay, we already have too much on our plate.
We're not buying this house!
Oh, and in the basement, they have a karaoke room
for people that want to impersonate divas
without their fathers seeing them.
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to look.
I don't know, guys. Does it really look like I'm in my office?
Jaws wasn't a real shark,
but I still wouldn't sit on a toilet seat for months.
How's this angle, Mom?
Um, uh, fine, I guess.
My cheek is itching! Is there something on my face?
Admiral Ackbar, what the hell happened to you?
I'll bet it was your stupid mushrooms!
Why do I try new things?
I'm sticking to my Brett Favre jeans!
Oh, God! That's her! That's her!
老天 是她 是她
Wait, I have to get up there with the babies --
Thank you so much for this --
I-I wasn't mocking you.
It's just that whenever I hear someone sneeze,
I have to sneeze, too, so that it's an even number.
It's-it's perfectly normal.
Oh, no, I completely understand.
A few years ago, I forgot to tap the towel rod twice
when I got out of the shower,
and we lost George Michael that day, so...
Let me tell you a little bit about our company.
But first, I'd like to take some notes.
That's what I love about this industry --
never a "Dull" Moment.
We like to think of "Organize 'Em"
as a wellness company --
A mindfulness company.
Are your shelv shaking?
Yeah, I think we're having a little earthquake.
You know what? Why don't I tell you
a little something about myself?
I like to think I'm the kind of person
who can see where the consumer trends are leaning,
and lean back the other direction.
Do I love organizing!
Baby, do I love it!
M-Ms. Dunphy, have you been drinking?
Just lie. She can't smell your breath.
No, Poppy, no!
不可以 茵素 不可以
What the hell is happening?!
I'm sorry, Ms. Beckman. This was a terrible idea.
抱歉 贝克曼女士 这真是个馊主意
I fell through a step, and my leg is stuck.
And listen, there's no company I would rather work for.
I didn't want to cancel on you, so I asked my family
to make it look like this was my office.
Jay Pritchett, closeteer, but you probably know that.
杰·普里契特 柜界先锋 不过估计你早听说过我
Could you just please get him out of my ear shot?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Listen, I wanted you to think that I was a person
who had it all together, but I'm not.
The reality is I live in chaos!
But that's why I love your products.
When -- When my kids are fighting
or -- or the grandkids are crying
or my husband is making pancakes on a pogo stick,
I know that I can go into my office
and file bills in a color-coded divider
and experience one moment of peace.
I know I'm what your company needs,
because I know how much I need your company.
I'm so proud of her!
I guess it's our lucky step.
Don't worry. It's just me.
You know what? You could have defended me!
Are you saying you agree with them?
I found their chant rather simplistic.
You know, I would have probably gone with something like...
"Helo Dynamics is a multinational corporation
that prioritizes profits over ethics."
I knew it. You are judging me.
Do you judge all of your students like this?
all my students don't have the potential you do!
You were extraordinary!
You were meant to change the world!
And it's not just me that thinks it.
Dylan said so in his newsletter.
The sanctimonious academic, looking down on the star pupil
because of her thousand-dollar shoes!
Those shoes were a thousand dollars?
Damn it. Do they come with medicine for a village?
You know what? I hate to say it,
but I don't need your approval, because I love what I do.
Ah. Well, I am sorry to hear that.
- Don't be. - I'm sorry because I am assembling a research team
to create A.I. capable of everything
from discovering exoplanets in deep space
to biomarkers of disease in humans.
And you would've been a superb addition
to an exceptional team.
you can take that job...
But I'm going to need you to match my salary!
I'm not sure we have that kind of money.
I'm gonna go see if I can still return these.
And finally, back to the beautiful family room.
I mean, it is beautiful.
I can see you both
having a delightful misunderstanding here.
Okay, now, Mitchell. Hmm?
You know I'm not usually impulsive --
Please. You never go to the grocery store alone
and not come home with a balloon.
But that bathroom upstairs is amazing.
Yeah, and I -- I do love the idea of me having my own sink.
是啊 我... 我也很喜欢我能有独自洗脸台
Our housekeeper would finally realize who the real villain is.
Okay, so we should -- we should do it!
行 所以我们应... 应该就下手啊
- Buy this house? - Yeah.
We haven't even made a decision about the baby yet.
Oh. Another broker just sent me a text.
An offer is coming at six o'clock.
Great. Another ticking clock.
Let's also disarm a time bomb
while buying Beyonce tickets online with an expired credit card.
Okay, that one got to me. I'm having hard time breathing.
I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack!
And this big family room with the cozy fireplace
is the perfect place to have that.
Okay, you know what, Gloria? Stop.
好了好了 歌洛莉亚 别来这套了
We -- We -- We need to think.
我们 我们... 我们需要时间考虑
No, no, no, we do not need to think.
We need to stop this.
Okay, within the span of eighteen hours,
we're supposed to completely and utterly change our lives?
No -- No big, life-altering decision should be made that way.
You're right. Here, let's -- Then let's not.
你说得对 好 我们不这么做了
- Okay. - It's just way too much.
When things are right,
i-it shouldn't be a struggle like this.
You just know it.
That little boy, he's gonna find an amazing family, right?
- Of course he is. - Yeah. Yeah.
-当然会啦 -是的 对
You -- You know what? I already --
I already feel a little lighter.
And we don't need the stress of moving.
- No. - Because you know what?
- I love our house. - I do, too.
- It is not perfect. But neitare we. - No. We aren't.
-它虽然不完美 但我们也不是完人 -我们的确不是
And neither is your car.
Can you please remove that thing from the driveway?
I'm trying to sell a life style here.
Is that the adoption ancy?
I'll -- I'll tell them.
Uh, yes, my husband and I would love to adopt him.
Let's write up an offer.
- Dad. Wake up. - Oh, what -- what -- what --
-小爸 醒醒 -怎么 怎么了
- I think Daddy took a sleeping pill again. - Is he...
♪ He taught me to love him ♪
♪ 他教我爱他 ♪
美国乡村歌曲乐团"卡特家族" - Wildwood Flower
♪ And promised to love ♪
♪ 也承诺会爱我 ♪
♪ And cherish me over all others above ♪
♪ 视我为世上最珍视之人 ♪
Come on, sing it with me, Tucson!
♪ My poor heart is wonderin', no misery can tell -- ♪
♪ 我可怜的小心肝苦等着 没有任何悲剧可以比拟 ♪
Hey, Mitchell. I have a dozen wings for Reba.
Yup. Okay, thank you so much.
是的 好的 谢谢你啦
We'll see you next time.
Tony, I'm getting a little feedback in my ear here.
Tony Hammond, ladies and gentlemen.