丧尸乐园 Zombieland
上映日期: 2,009
语言: 英语
影片类型: 喜剧 / 恐怖 / 冒险
导演: 鲁本·弗雷斯彻
演员: 杰西·艾森伯格 / 伍迪·哈里森 / 艾玛·斯通 / 阿比盖尔·布雷斯林 / 艾梅柏·希尔德 / 比尔·默瑞 / 克里斯·伯恩斯 / 布莱斯·科里根 / 埃涅·赫德森 / 苏珊妮·拉切塞斯 / 琳恩·
台词
Oh, America.
美国
I wish I could tell you that this was still America,
我希望告诉你这里仍是美国
but I have come to realize
但我意识到
that you can't have a country without people.
没人的地方不能称为国家
And there are no people here.
而这里就没人
No! No!
不! 不!
Go back-- Fuck!
滚开 操
No, my friends.
不 朋友
This is now the United States of Zombieland.
如今这里是"僵尸合众国"
It's amazing how quickly things
灾难迅速地一发不可收拾
can go from bad to total shit storm.
真是让人惊讶
And why am I alive when everyone around me
当周围所有人都成了口中餐
has turned to meat?
我又是怎样活下来的呢
It's because of my list of rules.
因为我有一套准则
Rule number one for survival Zomibeland. Cardio.
僵尸之地活命准则之一 有氧健身
Fuck!
该死
When the virus struck, for obvious reasons,
显而易见 当僵尸来袭
the first ones to go were the fatties.
首先丧命的是胖子
Poor fat bastard.
可怜的傻胖子
But as the infection spread and the chaos grew,
但当僵尸肆虐 以至天下大乱时
it wasn't enough to just be fast on your feet.
单凭腿脚快是不够的
You had to get a gun and learn how to use it,
你得有枪且会用
which with me the second rule. The Double Tap.
这就是我的准则之二 再补一枪
In those moments when you're not sure
如果你不确定
the undead are really "dead" dead,
那些僵尸死透了
Don't get all stingy with your bullets.
不要吝惜你的子弹
I mean, one more clean shot to the head,
我的意思是 补射爆头
And this lady could have avoided becoming a human happy meal.
这位女士本不会变成人肉大餐的
Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
早知今日 何必当初
Wasn't long before the zombies began to get clever.
很快僵尸们都学乖了
When you're at your most vulnerable,
你刚一"轻松"
somehow they could just smell it.
它们就闻到了
Can't a guy take a dumper in peace?
拉屎都不让我清静一下吗
Don't let them catch you with your pants down.
蹲坑时别被僵尸抓到
Rule number three. Beware of bathrooms.
准则之三 小心厕所
As zombies began to outnumber humans,
鉴于僵尸的数量远多于人类
well, that's when you had to cut all emotional ties.
那时你得斩断所有情感纠结
If the girls in your neighborhood are now fucked-up little monsters,
如果邻家女孩现在变成了一群烦人的小僵尸
well, maybe it's time to stop driving carpool.
是时候甩掉搭便车的人了
You had to focus on your own survival,
你自己保命要紧
which leads to Rule number four. Pretty basic.
这就是准则之四 非常基本
Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
系好安全带 这将是一路颠簸的旅程
Zombieland
《僵尸之地》
That guy down there is me. I'm in Garland, Texas.
下面那个家伙就是我 在德州 加兰
and it may look like zombies destroyed it,
看起来那里已被僵尸捣毁了
but that's actually just Garland.
但其实加兰就这样
It's been two months since Patient Zero
两个月前 第一位病毒感染者
took a bite of a contaminated burger
在一家加油站
at a Gas n' Gulp.
吃了一口感染僵尸病毒的汉堡
Just two months,
刚过两个月
and I might be the last non-cannibal freak in the country.
我就成了村子里最后一个不吃人的怪胎
I may seem like an unlikely survivor,
我看起来不太可能成为幸存者
with all my phobias and irritable-bowel syndrome.
因为我患有恐惧症和过敏性肠综合症
But I had the advantage of never having any friends or any close family.
但我的优势在于 没有任何亲朋好友
I survive because I play it safe and follow the rules.
我之所以幸存是由于我处处小心 遵循法则
My rules.
我的法则
Rule 1: Cardio
法则一 有氧健身
Shit.
该死
Rule 1: Cardio
法则一 有氧健身
Of course.
必须的
Rule 4: Seatbelts
法则四 系好安全带
Motherfucker.
见鬼
Rule 2: Double Tap
法则二 再补一枪
On the bright side,
所幸的是
I had found a place to go number two.
我找到个上大号的地方
Another rule to surviving Zombieland. Travel light.
另一条僵尸之地的活命法则 轻装旅行
And I don't mean just luggage.
我说的不只是行李
I have always been kind of a loner.
我一直是孤身一人
I avoided other people like they were zombies
即使别人不是僵尸以前
Even before they were zombies.
我都避开他们就像他们是僵尸
Now that they are all zombies,
现如今他们都成僵尸了
I kind of miss people.
我倒有点儿怀念人类了
So I'm on my way from my college dorm in Austin, Texas
我正从德州奥斯丁的大学寝室
to Columbus, Ohio,
前往俄亥俄州的哥伦布市
where I'm hoping my parents are still alive.
希望住在那里的父母还活着
Even though we were never really close,
即便我和父母关系疏远
it would be nice to see a familiar face,
能看到张熟悉的面孔也很好
or any face, that doesn't have blood dripping from its lips
或者任何不是满嘴
and flesh between its teeth.
血肉模糊的面孔也好
Thank you.
谢啦
- What are you looking for? - Nothing.
-你找什么呢 -没什么
I just, uh-- I just have this list.[Check the back seat]
我只是...有这习惯[检查后座]
No one back there but my duffel bag.
后座只有我的行李袋没有"人"
Uh-- What's your name?
你叫什么
Stop. No names.
打住 别问名字
Keeps us from getting too familiar.
别让彼此走得太近
You almost knocked over your alcohol with your knife.
你差点用刀子打翻了酒瓶
That's okay, you don't have to.
不用 你不必这样的
So where you headed?
那么你要去哪里
Columbus. you?
哥伦布市 你呢
Tallahassee.
塔拉哈西
Once?
再来一杯吗
No, one for me. One and done,
不 就一杯 一杯酒足够了
I always say. I said that once.
我总是这么说 以前也这样说过
You know, Tallahassee and Columbus
塔拉哈西和哥伦布
are both, uh, east.
都是在...东部
So?
那又怎样
So, Tallahassee, you wanna stick together?
塔拉哈西人 想要个旅伴吗
Least for a while?
哪怕一小段路
Here's the deal, Columbus. uh...
是这样的 哥伦布人
I'm not easy to get along with,
我不是个好相处的人
and I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,
而且我感觉你有点嘴碎
so I give this relationship to about Texarkana.
所以我只能送你到特克萨卡纳
Really? Yeah. You'll take me as far as Texarkana.
真的吗 你会送我到特克萨卡纳
You're a peppy little spit-fuck, aren't you?
你还真是个精力旺盛的娘娘腔
You might wanna buckle up for safety.
安全起见 你最好系上安全带
I can tell already you are gonna get on my nerves.
我就知道你会烦我
Even though teaming up wasn't my style,
即使组团不是我的风格
I figured I'd be safer with Tallahassee.
我也认为和特克萨卡纳人待一起更安全
You see, he was in the ass-kicking business,
瞧 他原来的职业真棒
and...
并且...
Business is good.
"生意"兴隆
It became quickly apparent, however,
但很快
that he did have one weakness.
他就暴露出一个弱点
What are we doing here?
我们停在这里干吗
Well, take a look. it's a god damn hostess truck.
看 那是一辆蛋糕车
Yeah, I see that, a hostess truck. so what?
看到了 蛋糕车 那又怎样
I could use a twinkie.
我想吃奶油夹心蛋糕
- You coming? - Yes. Yeah. one second.
-一起来吗 -好的 等一下
- Are you fucking with me? - No.
-你耍我哪 -没
You should actually limber up as well.
你其实也该做准备活动
Especially if we are going down that hill.
特别是在我们要下小山坡之前
It is very important.
这一点非常重要
I don't believe in it.
我不信那套
You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?
你见过狮子捕瞪羚之前做准备活动吗
Hmm.
也是
- Sno Balls? - Yeah.
-是雪球蛋糕吗 -对
Sno Balls?
雪球蛋糕
Where's the fucking twinkies?
该死的夹心蛋糕在哪
I like Sno Balls.
我爱吃雪球蛋糕
I hate coconut.
我讨厌椰蓉
Not the taste, consistency.
不是因为味道 而是那玩意黏黏的
Fresh.
挺新鲜的呢
Oh, this twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.
我要吃夹心蛋糕 这事没完
Hey, this may be a bad time,
我知道现在说不合适
but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl.
可我想上大号
- Really? - Really.
-真的吗 -真的
I know, again,
我知道 又要上厕所
so soon? What can I say?
太频了 我能怎么办
I have a case of, uh, chronic anxiety.
我有慢性焦虑症
Truth is, I was always kind of phobic.
其实我似乎是有恐惧症
I found lots of things disturbing.
许多事物都会让我不安
Like undertow or department store santas.
比如回头浪或是商场里的圣诞老人
Being alone with a baby.
独自跟婴儿待在一起
But the thing I fear more than anything,
但是我最害怕的东西
yes, even more than zombies,
是的 比僵尸更可怕的
Fucking clowns.
就是该死的小丑
When you're afraid of everything that's out there,
当你害怕外面的一切
You quit going out there,
你就会尽量避免外出
which is what happened to me before Zombieland.
僵尸肆虐以前 我一直都这样
Friday night, third straight week indoors.
周五晚上 连续第三周宅在家里
"World of Warcraft",
玩魔兽世界
Leaning Tower of pizza boxes,
堆得小山高的匹萨盒子
Code Red Mountain Dew.
和饮料瓶子
Pride, nowhere.
骄傲 谈不上
Dignity, long gone.
尊严 也丧失殆尽
Virginity, totally justifiable to speculate on.
处男身 你绝对猜中了
Smooth.
爽
My whole life, all I'd ever wanted was to find a girl,
我这辈子一直想着找个姑娘
And fall in love, bring her home to meet the folks.
谈个恋爱 带她回家去见父母
Then again,
话又说回来
since my folks are a couple of paranoid shut-ins like me,
因为我父母都和我一样是有妄想症的宅人
maybe this girl could bring me home to her folks.
或许那个女孩可以带我去见她的父母
And then I'd finally be a member of a cool, functional family.
那样我就能有个真正的家了
408.
408房间的
Please, is anyone home? Please, it's an emergency.
有人在家吗 情况紧急
I don't usually unlock my door to the sounds of panic,
我通常不会因听到惊恐的喊声而开门
But my neighbor 406 is insanely hot.
但406的邻居实在太性感了
Okay, okay.
来了 来了
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
谢谢 谢谢
Nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你
Here.
给你
There you go.
喝吧
- Mountain Dew? - Yeah. Code Red.
-是激浪吗 -是的 红色代码
And here's some Golden Grahams.
这还有些全麦片
The, uh, ziploc bag keeps them crisp.
在密封袋里还很脆
Okay. keep that there.
好的 放在这
So, um, tell me what happened.
那么 告诉我怎么了
Uh... he was homeless and-- and-- and sick.
那是一个生病的流浪汉
And I was walking home from the bar, talking on my phone,
我当时在从酒吧回家的路上 正打电话
and then he just came sprinting towards me.
突然他朝我冲过来
I mean, not running, sprinting.
我是说 不是一般的跑 是冲刺
And-- and I thought, you know,
当时我还以为...
like, maybe he was running from someone, or after someone,
他可能是在逃命 或是在追谁
but last time I saw he was still out there going crazy.
但我最后见他时依然像个疯子似的在那
Drugs, maybe?
也许是嗑药了
I didn't even tell you the worst part.
我还没讲到最可怕的一幕呢
Yeah?
你说
He tried to bite me.
他想咬我
You're right, that's the worst part.
你说得对 那真是最可怕的一幕了
I'm sorry. I'm just so scared.
很抱歉 我吓坏了
No, no, no, you should be scared.
不不 一个流浪汉要吃了你
A homeless man just tried to eat you.
不害怕才怪呢
That's the right kind of scared.
那是人之常情
That's reasonable scared.
是人都会害怕的
I get scared for things that, like,
我害怕的东西
don't make sense at all,
根本让人无法理解
Like clowns with red noses,
比如红鼻子小丑
or, like, the rags they use to wipe down tables
或者是抹布 就是在连锁餐厅吃完饭
when you finish eating at a chain restaurant.
用来擦桌子的那种
Really?
真的吗
Look, the point is I am here for you, okay?
重要的是我会在这儿保护你 好吗
And as long as you are by my side,
只要你在我身边
I am not leaving this apartment.
我就不会离开这间屋子
Do you mind if I just close my eyes for a minute?
介意我在这小睡一会儿吗
No, of course. of course.
不介意 当然不
- Thank you. - Okay.
-谢谢 -睡吧
Set aside the feverish, homeless cannibal,
除了那个发狂的食人流浪汉故事
I'm living the dream.
我简直活在美梦里
I had always, my whole life,
我这一辈子都想着
wanted to brush a girl's hair over her ear.
轻轻将女孩的头发拨过她的耳朵
- Good night. - Good night.
-晚安 -晚安
Oh, my god.
哦 天哪
Are you okay?
你还好吗
Okay, okay, okay. stop, stop, stop.
好了 好了 停下 停下
What are you doing?
你想干嘛
Look, stay back, 406, okay?
听着 406的 退后
I don't wanna hurt you, but,
我不想伤害你 但是...
Shit.
该死
Oh, my god, I'm so fucking sorry.
天哪 我真他妈的抱歉
You see, you just can't trust anyone.
瞧 你就是不能相信任何人
The first time I let a girl into my life and she tries to eat me.
我人生中接纳的第一个女孩竟然想吃我
Please. listen to me.
请听我说
406.
406那位
If you're in there,
如果你还有意识
you're just sick. okay?
你只不过是病了
Rule 2: Double Tap
法则二 补射一枪
That was my first brush with the plague of the 21st century.
这是我第一次遇到21世纪的瘟疫
Remember mad cow disease?
记得疯牛病吗
Well, mad cow became mad person became mad zombie.
疯牛病变成疯人病 又变成僵尸病
It's a fast-acting virus
僵尸瘟疫是种快速作用的病毒
that left you with a swollen brain,
让你大脑肿胀
a raging fever,
发高烧
that made you hateful, violent,
它会让你充满敌意 残暴
and gave you a really, really bad case of the munchies.
总让你感觉饥肠辘辘
All right, you steer, I'll push.
好吧 你把方向盘 我在后面推
Uh-- Okay.
好的
Okay.
好了
I have heard there's a place that's untouched by this crap.
我听说世上尚存一片净土没被这病毒侵袭
Back East, yeah?
东部地区 对吧
Yeah. yeah. you heard the same thing?
是的 你也听说了吗
Out West, we hear it's Back East.
我们西部的人 听说东部安全
Back East, they hear it's Out West.
他们东部的人 听说西部安全
It's all just nonsense.
其实都是瞎扯淡
You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole
就好比你是一只北极的企鹅
who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of year.
听说南极这个季节很美好
There are no penguins on the North Pole.
北极没有企鹅
You wanna feel how hard I can punch?
想尝尝老子拳头的厉害吗
So, what do you think?
你感觉咋样
Wait, the last time I laid some pipe?
什么 我上次上大号的感觉吗
Last time you went 20 toes,
上次 你和别人手脚相缠
put percy in the playpen?
放小弟弟入圈
Who's Percy?
哪个小弟弟
Wallpapered the closet, passed the gravy.
爱液四射 攀上激情顶峰
- Went heels to Jesus. - Oh. oh, made love.
-欲仙欲死 -原来你说的是做爱啊
Well, just sex.
就是性交
Uh-- Three weeks ago. Yeah.
最近一次是三周以前
In the back of an abandoned fedex truck.
在废弃的快递车里
Shut up.
得了吧
No, no, I was headed east.
真的 我要去东部
She, west.
她要去西部
And we took shelter in the back of the truck.
我们躲在一辆卡车里
It was full of undelivered packages.
上面堆满了未送达的包裹
What was her name?
她叫什么名字
Beverly.
贝弗莉
Beverly Hills.
贝弗莉·希尔斯
You dog.
真够风流的
So, uh, what about you?
那你呢
Me? I... I...
我吗 我... 我
Oh, my god. It makes you sick.
天哪 真让人恶心
You know, it makes you sad, it makes you...
僵尸让你难受 让你...
It makes you think if you can go back to the way,
这让你不禁想 如果一切恢复正常
things were right now, you know, you'd be...
此刻 也许你正在...
you'd be out in the backyard, you know, trying to catch fireflies.
正在自家后院里 抓萤火虫
And instead this.
而不是像现在
- I mean, it makes you... - Hungry.
-现在这一幕让你... -饥肠辘辘
I'm worried about you.
我很担心你
Look, whatever you have waiting for you in Columbus,
听着 不管在哥伦布市等着你的是什么
I promise you it ain't prettier
我保证 绝不会比我们面前这位伙计
than our friend here enjoying her manwich.
吃"人明治"的场面更雅观
Tallahassee had a sick sense of humor when it came to zombies.
说到僵尸时 塔拉哈西就有种病态的幽默感
Zombies aren't the most lovable creatures,
僵尸虽不怎么可爱
but he really hated them.
可他恨透了它们
In fact. the only thing he was more obsessed with
事实上 比起杀僵尸
than killing zombies, was finding a twinkie.
他更痴迷的事情就是找夹心蛋糕
Something about a twinkie reminded him of a time not so long ago,
夹心蛋糕让他回想起不久前的事
When things were simple and not so fucking psychotic.
那时日子很简单 没有这么疯狂
It was like if he got a taste of that comforting childhood treat.
就好象若他能尝到儿时美食的滋味
The world would become innocent again,
这个世界就会再变得纯洁
and everything would return to normal.
一切都会恢复如常
What are you prospecting?
你要挖什么
Jesus Christ.
老天
You are a dangerous man.
你是个危险人物
You're gonna risk our lives for a twinkie?
你打算让我们冒生命危险去找夹心蛋糕吗
There is a box of twinkies in that grocery store.
那杂货店有盒夹心蛋糕
Not just any box of twinkies.
不是普通的夹心蛋糕
The last box of twinkies that anyone will enjoy in the whole universe.
而是整个宇宙中最后一盒美味的夹心蛋糕
Believe it or not, twinkies have an expiration date.
信不信由你 夹心蛋糕是会过期的
Someday very soon,
很快 有朝一日
life's little twinkie gauge is gonna go empty.
生活中就永远没有夹心蛋糕了
Time to nut up or shut up.
不成功则成仁
When Tallahassee goes hulk on a zombie,
塔拉哈西对僵尸大发神威时
He sets the standard for not-to-be-fucked-with.
为了不被反噬 他制定了行为标准
No fear, nothing to lose.
无所畏惧 不计得失
What can I say? It's like-- it's like art.
怎么形容好呢 这就像... 艺术
You got a pretty mouth.
小嘴儿长的不错啊
Don't swing, don't swing.
别打 别打
Swing.
打
- Thank you. - You owe me.
-谢谢 -你欠我的
You're incredible.
你真威猛
I know.
还用你说
Twinkie, twinkie, twinkie, twinkie. Whoa, whoa.
夹心蛋糕 夹心蛋糕
Big hoss.
好一个巨无霸
Come here, big fella. Just gonna take a little off the top.
过来 大块头 只是帮你修修头发
Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
这些家伙真不修边幅
And they're so fat.
而且还真胖
I think we should probably just keep going.
我想该继续上路了吧
All I could think of was, what are the odds?
我唯一的念头就是 这能有多大概率
Another marriageable woman to bring home to the folks.
遇到另一个结婚对象带回家见父母
Come quick.
快来
Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it.
挽起她的青丝 就成了我的嫁娘
I'll catch up.
我随后就来
Rule number 22: When in doubt, know your way out.
法则22 疑虑时 留退路
Exit
出口
They're sisters. The, uh, little one's been bitten.
她们是姐妹 小的被咬了
- Act normal. Try not to freak her out. - Yeah.
-表现正常点 别吓坏她 -行
Columbus, Wichita, Little Rock.
哥伦布 威奇托 小岩城
So you did all this for a twinkie?
那么你干这一切都是为了一块夹心蛋糕
No, no, no, he did.
不 他才是
I'm just kind of like a Sancho Panza character.
我只是像桑丘·潘萨那样的随从[堂吉诃德的仆人]
Look, um, I don't think she has long.
听着 我认为她挺不了多久
Yeah, I know. I know, and she knows.
我知道 她也知道
We're just looking for a way out.
我们只是在找解决办法
No, no, no, no. She's just a little girl.
不 不 不 她还只是个小女孩
Don't talk about me like I'm not here.
别当我不存在
Right, sorry. Um--
对不起
Look, I know that you're really sick.
我知道你病得不轻
But, uh, your sister wants me to--
但 你姐姐想让我...
It's not her decision, okay? It's mine.
不是她的主意 是我的
I made her promise.
我逼她的
We already said goodbye, but, um, we didn't have a gun.
我们已经说永别了 但 我们没枪
- We don't know that there's no cure. - You're just gutless!
-还不确认这病无药可救 -你真没种
Give him the gun.
把枪给他
Wait, wait, wait.
等等
I'll do it.
我来
- I love you. - I love you too.
-我爱你 -我也爱你
You need some help?
要帮忙吗
Now that you mention it,
既然你都这么开口了
We'll take your weapons, your car keys, your ammunition.
我们就收下武器 车钥匙和弹药
And if you have got it, sugarless gum.
有无糖口香糖的话我也收了
What the fuck?
搞什么
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, why are you guys doing this?
等等 你们干嘛这么做
Better you make the mistake of trusting us
你们错信我们
than us make the mistake of trusting you.
总比我们错信你们的好
Of course, the first hot girl in 1000 miles shows up,
当然 走了一千英里才碰到第一个辣妹
Makes me feel like an idiot,
结果把我当猴耍
Steals my double-barrel and then says I'm the one that can't be trusted.
抢了我的双管枪 还说我不值得相信
Nice going, genius.
干得好 天才
You're the one that gave her the gun.
是你给她的枪
Those guys were dumb.
那俩家伙蠢得够可以的
Avoid the vanity mirror.
别看梳妆镜
Relax, okay? I just passed for a zombie.
别紧张 好吗 我刚假扮过僵尸
What I'd give for a shower
送礼会上我该送什么好呢
Do not say s-h-o-w-e-r, okay?
别提那几个字 行吗
Let's just get where we're going.
先赶到那再说
- So do you think it's true? - Is what true?
-你觉得那是真的吗 -什么真的假的
You know, about Pacific Playland?
就是那个太平洋游乐场
Totally zombie-free. Only place west of Waco.
韦科西边唯一没僵尸的地方
Trust me.
相信我
So he's on one of these Serious Tour De France Bikes--
他骑在环法自行车锦标赛的赛车上
You know, with, like, the toeholds, right?
就是那种有脚趾套的
And he's pedaling, and the zombie's head is, like, caught in the gear.
他登脚踏板时 僵尸头被绞到齿轮里
You know, with the hair in the chain just, like, going around.
头发缠在链条上 不停地转
Ho. Very cool.
非常酷
But zombie kill of the week? No, sir.
但要论本周最佳僵尸绝杀 还不够格
I saw this construction worker. I shit you not,
不骗你 我看过一个建筑工人
He is on a steamroller, and a zombie goes down in front of him.
他开着蒸汽压路机 一僵尸从前面被碾下去
You ever roll a tube of toothpaste up from the bottom?
你有没有从下往上挤过牙膏
Yeah. I always roll it up from the bottom.
当然 我都是从下往上挤的
Well, the zombie's head is the cap.
那僵尸的头就是牙膏帽
Are you one of these guys that tries to one-up everybody else's story?
你也是那种讲故事都要拿第一的人吗
No. I knew a guy way worse at that than me.
不 我认识一个人比我还能讲
All right, let's just try to find a car.
好了 我们去找车
Oh, which reminds me,
这让我想起
I never had headaches like this till your ass came onboard.
让你搭车前 我从没这么多麻烦
I mean, do what you want with a man,
我是说 你可以对一个男人任意而为
but do not fuck with his Cadillac.
但千万别乱搞他的凯迪拉克
Hey, there's a nice minivan.
那里有辆小货车
Oh, you know something? That is nice.
知道吗 这车不错
That's a beautiful van.
漂亮的小货车
Tallahassee firmly believes you have to blow off steam in Zombieland
塔拉哈西确信 在僵尸之地你就得发彪
Or else you lose what's left of your mind.
否则会迷失自我
If it makes him happy
如果这能令他开心
and keeps him from using that crowbar on me,
别用撬棍砸我
Then I say, "Hey, go ape shit."
我会说 嘿 尽情地砸吧
I want my Caddy back!
还我凯迪拉克
Stupid little bitches!
该死的小贱人
Oh, I got pulled something.
我好像扭到了
Do you think the two of us are smart enough to come up with a con like that?
你觉得我们俩聪明到能不受骗吗
Limber up
准备活动[活命法则18]
You hesitated.
你犹豫了
Would you better to be smart or lucky?
是聪明好还是走运点好呢
Look at what we got here.
看我们找到了什么
Come on.
来吧
- That's nice. - Smell the finger?
-真有型 -要闻闻这手指不
Rule 31 Check the back seat
法则31 检查后座
Thank god for rednecks.
感谢上帝对我们这些乡巴佬的眷顾
This is a really big truck
牛逼的车
And these are really big guns.
牛逼的枪
Take your time.
慢慢玩
You know, they say, "He who seeks revenge
常言道 寻仇者
should remember to dig two graves."
应事先备好两副棺材
Right. Two graves. One for the big chick, one for the little chick.
对 两副 大妞一副 小妞一副
You are scary happy.
你真的很开心啊
Come on, why don't we just forget about those girls
行了 我们为何不忘掉那两个妞
and head home?
然后直接回家
Oh, you want to talk about home?
你想谈谈家庭吗
For me, home was a puppy named Buck.
对我来说 家就是小狗狗巴克
Cutest dog ever.
世上最可爱的狗狗
All those fucking zombies.
那些天杀的僵尸
I lost him.
让我失去了他
And there ain't no getting him back, so, uh, I'm looking for a new home.
他不会死而复生 所以我在寻找新家
Tomorrow, I may be skinny-dipping in the Yellowstone River,
明天 我可能在黄石河里裸泳
or swinging from the chandeliers in the Playboy Mansion,
也可能在著名的花花公子公馆寻欢作乐
But today, a Vortec six-fucking-liter V8,
但今天 狂野的6升V8涡流引擎越野车
A box full of hollow points,
一整盒空尖弹
and, lord willing, a gd twinkie.
上帝垂青的话 一盒好吃的夹心蛋糕
Gotta enjoy the little things.
享受点滴小事
I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam,
我讨厌那种爱发牢骚坏脾气的人
But I'm writing it down.
但我要把他刚说的记下来
Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.
法则32 享受点滴小事
Knowing them, it's a trap.
我了解她们 是个陷阱
Wait here. Drive down if I signal.
在这等 看见我发信号就开过来
You're not gonna shoot them, are you?
你不会打死她们吧
Not unless they shoot at me.
除非她们先开枪
Oh, let's hope they shoot at me.
但愿她们开枪
Looks like they hoofed it.
看样子她们弃车徒步走了
Probably headed west.
可能往西走了
Just drive slow, keep your eyes peeled.
开慢点 睁大眼睛盯着
Sure.
当然
- They're in the back, aren't they? - Just me.
-她们在后座 是吗 -只有我
I'm really sorry. She was like a crouching tiger.
真对不起 她就像潜伏的猛虎
You got taken hostage by a 12-year-old?
你竟被12岁的小毛孩扣为人质
Girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
女孩比男孩早熟 她比我当初成熟得多
Twelve's the new 20. Gun, please.
12岁就像20出头了 给我枪
Like you would ever use that thing.
说得好像你会开枪似的
Don't kill me with my own gun!
别用我的枪杀我
All those violent video games.
拜那些暴力电玩所赐
Thank you.
谢谢
- Now honk your horn. - What?
-现在按喇叭 -什么
Honk it.
快按
It's your sister, with my gun. Hello.
是你姐姐 还拿着我的枪 你好
Bummer.
笨蛋
Now step away from the vehicle.
现在从车里出来
You get to ride shotgun.
你就坐在副驾驶座
I kind of like this girl.
我有点喜欢上这妞了
She's not your typical hot, stuck-up bitch.
她不是那种火辣傲慢的小妞
Even before Zombieland,
即使在僵尸时期出现之前
Wichita was running the table on guys like us.
维琪塔也把我们这种人玩弄于股掌
Uh-- What are you looking for?
你找什么
My engagement ring.
订婚戒指
I took it off to pump my gas, and I thought that I put it in my purse,
加油时 我记得把它脱下来装进包里的
But it must have fallen out, and I'm late for my flight and--
肯定掉出来了 我要错过航班了
Well, listen, I'll find your ring, and I'll fedex it to you.
我会帮你找到 然后快递给你
I'll give you a reward.
我会给你酬劳的
Ha. Don't be silly.
别傻了
Three thousand dollars. It's worth more than my car.
三千美元 它比我的车贵
Just-- just give me your number.
把你号码给我就行
Yeah. I'll find it.
我会找到的
Yeah, I'll start looking for it right now.
我也没别的事忙
Because I got nothing else to do.
现在就开始找
I was engaged once,
我以前也订过婚
But I'm single now.
但现在单身汉一个
Bye-bye.
拜拜
Hope you make your flight.
希望你赶得上飞机
No, but I know it's around here somewhere.
没有 但我知道它就在附近
She's on a plane, that's the beauty of it.
她上飞机了 真是天赐良机
Let me call you back.
我等下再回你电话
Hey, you found my ring.
你找到我的戒指了
Thanks. I have been looking all over for it.
谢谢 我一直在到处找
- Your ring? - Well, it's my friend's, you know.
-谁说是你的 -其实是我朋友的
- I'm gonna send it to her. - Do I get a reward?
-我要把它寄给她 -给我报酬吗
40 60 80 400 40, 60, 80, 400.
That's it. That's the whole register.
就这些 收银机里就这么多
You made someone very happy.
你会让某人喜出望外的
You too.
彼此彼此
Nice.
漂亮
How many left?
还剩多少
Let me see.
我看下
Enough for us to get to California.
足够我们一路用到加州
Someday, I want a ring this big.
将来 我也要这么大的戒指
Hmm. For the low price of 30 bucks, sold.
低价30美元 成交
It's amazing how far you can get with some costume jewelry
把人造首饰和无情骗术
And a cutthroat attitude.
发挥到这地步 真是神奇
I guess we're just lucky they didn't leave us by the side of the road.
她们没把我们扔在路边算是不幸中的万幸了
Thank you, Wichita. Thanks, Little Rock.
谢谢 维琪塔 谢谢 小岩城
For fuck's sake, enough already!
闹够了没
We're being chased by ravenous freaks!
我们被那些饥饿的僵尸追杀
We don't have enough problems?
还嫌不够烦吗
"Oh, they stole my Hummer. We have trust issues."
她们偷了我的悍马 彼此互不信任
Get over it, okay?
忘掉这些 好吗
We can't just fucking drive down the road,
我们四个就不能像正常人那样边开车
Playing I Spy or some shit for 2 hours like four normal-ass Americans?
边玩"我是间谍"之类的游戏度过这两小时吗
Fuck me!
杀了我吧
I know.
不是吗
Let me be the mature one.
我就理性一回吧
Good.
很好
So where are you guys headed?
那么你俩要去哪里
Pacific Playland.
太平洋游乐场
The amusement park?
是那个游乐园吗
- Wait, outside L.A.? - Yeah, we went there as kids.
-洛杉矶郊外那个吗 -对 我们小时候去过
That place totally blows.
那地方实在是太...
...my mind. It's-- it's so fun.
...神奇了 非常好玩
Just good entertainment for the whole family.
非常适合家庭娱乐
Yeah, no, actually, I went there as a kid too.
实际上我小时候也去过
In fact, this probably counts as off-season.
实际上 现在算是淡季
Well, did you guys hear? There are no zombies there.
你们听说过吗 那里没有僵尸
Yeah, we heard. Uh--
对 我们听说过
You know what, I may not shoot you,
你要明白 我或许不会朝你开枪
But you have still royally pissed me off,
不过你还是把我惹毛了
and I'm not going to play with you at Pacific Playland.
我可不会跟你去什么太平洋游乐场
- Don't worry, he grows on you. - Really?
-别担心 你会喜欢他的 -是吗
No. It gets worse.
不 只会越来越糟
Okay. How about we play the Quiet Game?
我们玩"看谁不说话"游戏吧
Yeah? Starting now.
现在开始
Oh, um, I have actually been meaning to ask you...
我一直想问
Did you-- did you hear anything about, uh, Columbus, Ohio?
你有听过俄亥俄州哥伦布市的消息吗
- You never played the quiet game? - Sorry.
-你从来没玩过这种游戏吗 -抱歉
No? Well, they're playing it in Columbus, Ohio.
好吧 俄亥俄州哥伦布市很流行玩这个
It's a total ghost town. It's burned to the ground.
那里现在完全是座死城 已经夷为平地了
You're Columbus.
你是哥伦布来的
I'm sorry.
对不起
I didn't realize it was...
我刚没意识到那是...
I'm not sure what's more tragic
我已经不清楚哪个更悲惨些
that my family is gone, or the realization that
是我家人的死 还是意识到
I never really had much of a family to begin with.
我压根就没个像样的家
Either way,
无论如何
I can't pretend that whatever I'm looking for I'll find by going home.
总不能假装只要一回家 就能找回一切
I have no home.
我已无家可归
We can, uh, get you a ride.
我们可以 送你一程
You know, you can go see for yourself,
你可以自己回去看看
or settle somewhere new.
或者另外找个落脚点
Okay.
好吧
I could tell she knew what I was feeling.
看得出来 她懂我当时的感受
We were all orphans in Zombieland.
我们同是天涯沦落人
I know this Pacific Playland thing is nuts,
我知道去太平洋游乐场的想法很荒唐
but it's just been so long since she got to be a kid.
但她已经很久没像个孩子一样生活了
Yeah, it's tough growing up in Zombieland.
是啊 在僵尸之地成长可不容易
It's tough growing up.
长大本就不易
There.
到了
You could take that truck.
你可以开那辆卡车
Well, I, uh, hope you find whoever it is you're looking for.
但愿你能找到要找的人
And don't let go, once you do.
一旦找到 就不要分离了
It wasn't just because I had nowhere else to go.
当时并不只因我无处可去
It was because, in that moment, it became clear.
只是那一刻我幡然醒悟
Wherever this girl was, that's where I wanted to be.
有这个女孩的地方 才是我要去的地方
Man, we're gonna have to pull over soon. I'm feeling cooped up.
找个地方停车吧 我快憋死了
"We wantum your wampum." Yeah. That'll work.
"留下买货钱" 这地方不错
Okay, but what the hell are we doing?
好吧 不过我们要干什么啊
Just humor him. Trust me.
相信我 听他的没错
Hold up.
稍等
Who wants to go first?
谁先走
I really, really wanna impress Wichita,
我很想在维琪塔面前表现自己
but it would be in violation of Rule 17,
但有悖于法则17
maybe the most important rule of all: Don't be a hero.
或许是最重要的一条法则 别逞英雄
- Why don't you take this one? - Don't mind if I do.
-要不你先吧 -那我就不客气了
What do you think? Zombie Kill of the week?
怎么样 本周最佳僵尸绝杀吗
Close, but no cigar.
离高手还有一步之遥呢
Zombie Kill of the week goes to sister Cynthia knickerbocker.
本周最佳僵尸绝杀之桂冠属于修女辛西娅
Poor flat bastard.
可怜的肉饼
- Perfume? - What?
-是香水吗 -什么
Is that perfume?
那个是香水吗
Um-- it's cologne.
是古龙水
I'm thinking,
我猜
Lancome magnifique.
应该是兰蔻香水吧
Why don't you speak up a little?
怎么不大声点说
I think they might have missed it in Santa Fe.
我觉得他们到圣达菲就会想念这味道了
Oh, my god.
天哪
You're thinking about fucking Wichita.
你想和维琪塔玩
Wish granted. She spent the last 24 hours fucking us both.
如愿以偿了吧 过去24小时来她一直在玩我们
Good luck now, petunia.
祝你好运 小矮子
Okay. Let me begin my three-part apology
好吧 请允许我向你真诚地道歉
By saying that I think you're a wonderful human with great potential.
你是个前途无量的好汉
It's okay,
没事
but FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.
但跟你说 为比这还小的事 我都要痛下杀手
- I'm sure. - You get, uh, 45 percent power.
-当然 -对付你 我只用四五成的力好了
Thank you.
谢了
Yeah. Come on, break another one.
来啊 再打碎一个
Nice.
棒极了
Doesn't that feel good?
感觉不错吧
Sometimes, Tallahassee's right. You gotta enjoy the little things,
有时 塔拉哈西是对的 你得享受点滴小事
even if that means destroying a whole lot of little things.
就算要砸烂很多小东西又如何
Smells like perfume.
闻起来像香水嘛
You don't know who Willie Nelson is?
你不认识威利·尼尔森吗
No.
不认识
Willie Nelson?
威利·尼尔森吗
Yeah, no, I don't.
我不知道
Yeah, I shave every morning, but sometimes by, like 4:30,
我一般早上刮胡子 有时四点半
I'll have a thing. It's called 5:00 shadow,
我胡子下午就又长出来了
but sometimes I'll get it prematurely.
但有时比平时长得还快
Since it's a freeway, you can get it up to, like 65,
这是高速公路 所以你可以开到65码
but don't go more than 75.
但别超过75码
You don't wanna go more than 20.
最好连20码都别超过
Don't worry about a blind spot.
别担心盲点
Blind spots are for other drivers.
盲点是其他司机考虑的
It's like the first time that I have ever driven.
我又不是第一次开车
So do you never strap in or
你平时不系安全带还是
it's just on long road trips?
因为开长途车才不系
It's just, you know, there's zombies everywhere.
只因这里到处是僵尸
I think the least of my worries
所以我最不需要担心的...
- Yeah, that's true. - Is seat belts.
-有道理 -就是安全带了
Yes, but, no, she's not.
是啊 不过她可不是
She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana,
她只有带了假发化身汉娜·蒙大拿
when she's wearing the wig.
才出名的
- Okay. Right. Only wig. - So...
-好吧 得戴假发 -所以...
It's kind of freeing.
感觉轻松多了
For the first time in a long time, we were having fun.
好久没这么开心了
So even though it ran counter to our survival strategies,
尽管与我们的生存法则大相径庭
We decided to stay together as far as Pacific Playland.
我们还是决定一起到太平洋游乐场
You know, I think sleep deprivation is, like,
我觉得睡眠不足
the number one health problem in America.
是美国人民首要健康问题
Heh-heh. Well, now I think it might be number two.
我觉得现在这只能是二号问题了
Number two.
二号
That's adorable.
你够可爱了
I'm just saying I think we should find a place to crash.
我们得找个地方歇歇
Oh, I got an idea.
我有个主意
We're in Hollywood, let's sleep in style.
我们既然来了好莱坞 就要睡得气派
Grab a map.
弄张地图过来
Come on.
快点
Hurry! Hurry!
快 快
Good job.
干得好
Looks like anyone who's ever been in a movie lives on this block.
好像电影明星都住这个街区吧
What exactly you think we're doing in the 90210, Sally?
要不然我们来比弗利干什么 娘娘腔
I kind of pictured Tom Cruise living somewhere nicer.
还以为汤姆·克鲁斯住的更豪华呢
B-lister compared to who I got in mind, folks.
比我想到的地方差一个档次 伙计们
We're going to the tippy-top of the A-list.
我们要去最最豪华的地方
- Who? - You'll see.
-谁住的 -到时候就知道了
Hey. There's a big BM.
有个大写的BM字样
And it ain't Bob Marley.
那不会是鲍勃·马里
This place is incredible.
这地方太炫了
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to La Mansion De Murray.
女士们先生们 欢迎来到莫雷的豪宅
Ah. Bill Murray. God, no way.
比尔·莫雷 天哪 难以置信
This guy has a direct line to my funny bone.
他最能让我发笑了
- Everything - Wait. Who's Bill Murray?
-所有 -等等 谁是比尔·莫雷
Hey, I have never hit a kid before.
我可从没动手打过孩子
All right? I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
这个问题就像问甘地是谁一样弱智
Who's Gandhi?
甘地是谁
She's 12.
她才12岁
- No twinkies. - Shit, fuck!
-没有夹心蛋糕 -见鬼
See? I told you we should have gone to Russell Crowe's.
早知如此就该听我的去拉塞尔·克劳家
- No one listens to me. - Hello, inside voices. Okay?
-没人听我的 -你又没说出来
At least until we know we're alone.
看看有没有的什么再说
Hey, Tallahassee, Wichita, why don't you take that way.
塔拉哈西 维琪塔去那边
Little rock, come here.
小石头 过来
Why do I get stuck with her?
我为什么跟她一起
It doesn't seem to end.
就像走不到头一样
Hey, come here.
过来
He has his own movie theater?
他有个家庭影院
Okay, I'm gonna teach you a little something about Bill Murray.
我来跟你讲讲比尔·莫雷的故事
A king slept right here.
这就像龙床一般
Dibs on the bed.
这床归我了
Too soft for me, anyway.
反正我睡也嫌太软了
Oh, this is so exciting.
真是太棒了
You're about to learn who you gonna call.
你马上就知道他是谁了
It's Ghostbusters.
《捉鬼敢死队》
This is pretty catchy.
这曲子倒挺朗朗上口的
Come on.
来啊
Help me with the boots. Come on.
伺候大爷脱鞋 快点
Help me with the boots.
伺候大爷脱鞋
Okay. I'll get them myself.
好吧 我自己来
Shit.
该死
Bill Murray, you're a zombie?
比尔·莫雷 你是个僵尸
Oh! I'm on fire! Ouch!
疼死我了
You're not a zombie, you're talking, and--
你不是僵尸 你还说话呢
- You're okay? - The hell I am!
-你没事吧 -我好着呢
I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was "you" you.
对不起 我不知道你真是那个"你"
Are you--? What's with the get-up?
你 你怎么这打扮
Oh, I do it to blend in. You know.
我这是为了混进僵尸群
Zombies don't mess with other zombies.
他们从不互相残杀
Buddy of mine, makeup guy, showed me how to do this.
我一个搞化妆的哥们教我弄成这样
Cornstarch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies.
玉米糊 再加点浆果和女用甘草精
Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff.
和我的风格很配 我平时就出门转转
Just played Nine Holes on the riviera.
在海滨打高尔夫
Just walked on. Nobody there.
随便逛 连人影都没有
Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray!
我的天 这是他妈的比尔·莫雷啊
I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush.
我得发泄一下 我不想这么激动
This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time.
真不可思议 您或许经常遇到这种情况
Maybe not lately, but l'm -- I'm such a huge fan of yours.
最近可能少了 我可是您的超级粉丝
I mean, I swear, you know,
我发誓
I have seen every one of your movies a million times.
您的每部电影我都看了成千上万遍
I even love your dramatic roles and just everything.
我也喜欢您在戏剧中的角色和所有表演
Six people left in the world,
这世上只剩六个人
one of them is Bill fucking Murray!
其中一个竟是他妈的比尔·莫雷
I know that's not your middle name.
我不是骂你
I been watching you since I was like..
自从我
Since I could masturbate.
从我会"打飞机"的时候就看您的电影了
I mean, not that they're connected.
当然这两者没联系
"a former greenskeeper about to "
"一个前高尔夫球场管理员就要"
"become the Masters Champion."
"成为大师赛冠军了"
Well, that's why we do it.
感谢你的支持
I love you, Bill. I love you.
我爱你 比尔 我爱你
I thank you.
谢谢你
Thank you.
应该感谢你
You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece.
你一直盯着我 这是个假发
I'm sorry.
对不起
No, it was just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen.
只不过您太像艾迪·凡·海伦了
I just saw Eddie Van Halen.
我刚还看见艾迪·凡·海伦了
- Really? - Yeah.
-不会吧 -真的
Where?
哪儿
- At the Hollywood Bowl. - How was that?
-在好莱坞露天剧场 -他情况如何
He's a zombie.
已经是个僵尸了
Aw. That's a tough break.
真不幸
So, uh, how about a little west coast hospitality?
来点西海岸式的款待如何
Can I-- wha-- can I get you something?
有什么我能效劳的吗
What would you-- what would you like?
你们想要点什么
Smooth, isn't it?
很带劲吧
Oh, hurry. Hurry, he's on the ceiling.
快来 快来 他在天花板上
Come get him. Avoid the chandelier. Light him up, Ray.
快去抓他 注意吊灯 烤焦他 雷
- See you on the other side, Pete. - Oh, he's so disgusting.
-到对面去 皮特 -真恶心
Looks like slimer. Don't cross the streams!
看着像粘液怪 别碰激光束
-Ah! I don't wanna cross - Oh, no, he's awful.
-我不想碰 -他完蛋了
Don't cross the streams!
别碰激光束
Thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds.
35英尺长 约600磅重
That's a big twinkie.
真是个大块的夹心蛋糕
Your sister is, uh, single, right?
你姐姐还是单身 是吧
There's nothing long distance or anything?
没有异地恋之类的吧
- No. - Oh, good, good.
-没有 -很好
And if she had, like, a type, you know,
她过去喜欢的类型
If you can have a type, what would that be, you think?
如果有的话 是什么样的
She kind of goes for, like, bad boys.
她有点喜欢坏小子那种
- Really? - Yeah.
-是吗 -是的
That's cool.
真不错
What?
你
Oh, whoops.
不小心的
- So Columbus is the scared one? - Yeah. He's like a little bunny.
-哥伦布很胆小 -他胆小的像兔子
I'll get him.
我去吓吓他
Watch this.
看好了
No.
不
No, no, it's okay, it's okay.
没事了 没事了
I got him.
搞定了
Is that how you say hello where you come from?
你那里的人都这么打招呼吗
Oh, my god.
天哪
Oh, my god, I can't believe I shot Bill Murray.
天哪 我竟然打死了比尔·莫雷
- Mr. Murray? - I'm just Bill, I think, now.
-莫雷先生 -现在就叫我比尔就行了
- Bill? - Yeah?
-比尔 -什么事
I don't think we're gonna be able to stitch this.
这伤口估计是缝不上了
Ahh. That's still tender.
还是疼啊
You think you might pull through?
你能挺过去吗
No.
不行了
If it means anything now, I am so sorry.
如果道歉还有用 对不起
It was just instinctive.
我只是本能反应
It was my bad.
都怪我
I was never a very good practical joker.
我从来就不擅长恶作剧
So do you have any regrets?
你有未了的心愿吗
Garfield, maybe.
估计是给加菲猫配音吧
I'm sorry, he just gets me.
对不起 他逗笑我了
- But it still is sad. - Yeah.
-但还是很伤感 -是啊
- Okay. - Oh, shit.
-好了 -该死
Okay. Okay.
好了
Okay. Shit. Okay.
好了 该死
Sorry. One second.
抱歉 稍等
It's a double-barrel. Sorry.
这是双管枪 抱歉
Okay.
好了
Three, two, one.
三 二 一
- You guys want some purell? - Yes.
-来点消毒液吗 -好
- Please. - Yeah.
-谢了 -好
Yes.
好耶
- Oh, free parking. - Yeah.
-免费停车 -没错
Which, coincidentally, is the best thing about Zombieland.
这正巧是僵尸之地最大的好处
No, best thing about Z-land, no Facebook status updates.
不对 最大的好处是没人再更新非死不可了
You know, "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday."
比如"罗伯·科迪斯准备好迎接周五了"
Who cares?
谁在乎
The best thing is no more flushing.Epic.
最大的好处是不用冲厕所 爽
And the worst thing about Z-land?
那最糟糕的事呢
You mean, other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?
除了我枪杀比尔·莫雷
That's easy. losing Buck.
很简单 是我失去了巴克
That's his puppy.
那是他的小狗
I'm gonna tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck.
我跟你们说 我觉得我从没像爱巴克那样爱谁
He was just-- the day he was born, I just lost my mind.
他... 从他出生开始 我就为他疯狂
Sorry.
抱歉
We were...we were two peas.
我们... 我们相依为命
He had my personality, my laugh, my appetite.
他性格像我 笑容像我 喜好像我
Laugh?
笑容
That's when it hit me.
这时我突然明白
I felt ashamed that it had taken me this long.
我为长久以来的糊涂而感到羞愧
Me, with the best cardio in the business.
我这个有着强健心肺功能的人
to realize I wasn't the only one running from something.
才意识到不只我一个人在逃避现实
Oh, there it is. There you go.
来 给 吃吧
Oh, you like the syrup. Yes.
你喜欢加糖浆 是的
Okay.
好了
We made this wallet together out of duct tape.
我们一起用胶带做的这个钱包
Take away a man's son,
夺走一个人的爱子
You have truly given him nothing left to lose.
他真的就一无所有了
I haven't cried like that since Titanic.
从看了泰坦尼克之后我就没这么哭过了
A hint.
给你个提示
Why don't you, uh, exhale slowly,
不如试着 慢慢地吐气
squeeze the trigger?
再扣扳机
Don't make me drink alone.
别让我一个人喝闷酒
Okay.
好吧
It's a 1997 Geor-- Georges?
这是1997年的乔治红葡萄酒
I never took French. Georges De Latour?
我没学过法语 是叫乔治·德·拉图尔吗
I don't know.
我不懂
- Oh, it's a '97? - Yeah.
-是97年酿的吗 -是的
- Was that a good year? - Oh, my god.
-那年过得不错吧 -岂止啊
It was great year. Are you kidding me?
简直棒极了
I saw my first R-rated movie that year.
那年我第一次看R级电影
- Yeah, Anaconda. - Ah. Anaconda.
-《狂蟒之灾》 -《狂蟒之灾》
Um-- first tattoo, porpoise.
第一次纹身 海豚
- Really? oh. - Fake.
-真的吗 -假的
First kiss.
初吻
Scotty Lynch.
和斯科蒂·林奇
You guys used tongue?
你们试过舌吻吗
Maybe.
也许
You jealous of Scotty Lynch?
你嫉妒斯科蒂·林奇吗
Uh, yes, I am. um--
是的 我嫉妒
Actually, I think I'm jealous of your whole 1997. uh--
其实我嫉妒你的整个1997年
Let's see. Mine, um, uh--
让我想想 我的...
First orthodontist.
第一次看牙齿矫正医生
The bastard gave me headgear. yeah.
那混蛋给我戴了牙套
I got my first B.
第一次考试得了B
Oh, no.
不是吧
Frightening as Anaconda. um--
像《狂蟒之灾》一样恐怖
In wood shop, which doesn't really count as a class anyway.
在劳技课上 其实都不能算是一门课
No. Um...
不算
Had my first, uh, school dance. Oh, thank you.
我第一次校园舞会 谢谢
It was a Sadie Hawkins, so girls' choice, you know.
是霍金斯舞会 所以得由女孩来选舞伴
Ugh. What, and nobody picked you?
怎么了 没人选你吗
It was girls' choice.
说了得由女孩们选舞伴嘛
- Those bitches. - I know.
-那些烂人 -没错
No, I will not stand for this. no. you know what?
不 我不能袖手旁观 听着
On behalf of all the eighth-grade girls,
我代表所有八年级的女孩们
I would like to make it up to you.
来补偿你一下
Relax.
放松点
Scotty's old news.
斯科蒂已是过眼云烟了
I don't even know your name, but this is actually really nice.
我甚至不知道你的名字 但这感觉真的很棒
You know, between you, me and "What about Bob"?
在你我和《天才也疯狂》中[比尔·莫雷的电影]
You're actually kind of cute.
你还是挺可爱的
You think so?
真的吗
Yeah.
是的
I mean, you got the guts of a guppy,
虽然你长的不帅
But I could hit that.
但我喜欢
Really?
真的吗
Or at least give you the intentional walk to first.
或者至少给你点甜头
Hey, a little help moving the couch?
帮忙挪下沙发好吗
Oh. we're making a fort.
我们在建防御工事
Yeah. Yeah, that's probably for the best.
也许这样最好
- Right. - Uh, because, um,
-没错 -因为
I like you,
我喜欢你
Columbus, but, um-- but, uh, my sister and I,
哥伦布 但是... 但是我和我妹妹
are gonna do whatever it takes to survive, so...
要不惜一切地活下去 所以...
I was hoping Wichita was just playing hard to get,
我希望维琪塔只是在欲擒故纵
But I realized she had more trust issues than I did,
但我发现她比我更不相信别人
When I woke up the next day and she was leaving.
当我第二天醒来时她正准备离开
You are like a giant cock-blocking robot,
你就像政府秘密实验室造出来的巨型机器人
Like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.
专门破坏人家的好事
I can't believe I almost kissed him.
真不敢相信我差点亲了他
What's our rule?
我们的规矩是什么
Trust no one, just you and me.
除你我之外 不相信任何人
Just you and me.
只有你和我
Yeah. You and me.
是的 只有你和我
You have just survived the Zombie Apocalypse,
你刚从僵尸末日里幸存下来
And drove halfway across the country.
并且横穿过了半个国家
Where are you gonna go?
现在要去哪
I'm going to Pacific Playland. whoo! Ha-ha.
我要去太平洋游乐场
Open sesame.
芝麻开门
This is the problem with getting attached to someone.
这就是爱恋别人的问题所在
When they leave you, you just feel lost.
他们一走 你就会觉得若有所失
Having Tallahassee around didn't comfort me,
有塔拉哈西陪伴并没有多大安慰
It just made me feel more alone.
只会让我觉得更孤单
Hey. You weren't exactly gonna score, anyway.
反正你也上不了她
You know, you weren't storming the trenches before I came along.
在我进来之前也没见你把她哄上床呀
That's why I don't let people close. You only get burned.
所以我不亲近任何人 因为受伤的总是自己
You don't say.
不见得
Mexico.
墨西哥
You know what they call twinkies in Mexico? "Low Sub Marinos".
你猜在墨西哥管夹心蛋糕叫什么 洛萨玛丽诺
- That's where I'm headed, amigo. - Whatever.
-这是我要去的地方 伙计 -随便你
- Oh, my god. - I know.
-天哪 -是啊
This is really fun.
真好玩
Oh, my god.
天哪
Oh, no.
不会吧
I'm going after Wichita.
我要去找维琪塔
Look, you ever read that book "She's just not that into you?"
读过那本书吗 《她只是不爱你》
You can't make yourself too available.
你不能太主动
I don't care, all right? I wanna be with her.
我不在乎 行吗 我想跟她在一起
Have fun in Mexico.
祝你在墨西哥玩得开心
Come on. Hurry.
快跑 快
Get in.
上车
Come on, go.
快开 快
Go, go.
开车 快
On the count of three. one, two, three.
数三下 一 二 三
Uhn. You okay? Come on. Hurry, get up.
你没事吧 快点 起来
- Come on, let's go. - Yeah.
-起来 我们走 -好
There.
那边
Um, uh... I'm not great at farewells, so, uh,
我不太擅长告别 所以...
That'll do, pig.
别再出糗 你个猪头
That's the worst goodbye I have ever heard,
这是我听过的最糟糕的告别
And you stole it from a movie.
而且你还是从电影里偷学来的
Tell the ladies I said hey.
代我向女士们问个好
You know, their pictures were in someone's wallet too.
也曾有人至爱她们
Hop in the car, Evel Knievel.
上车吧 伊佛·克尼弗[著名摩托车飞人]
- Let's go ride the roller coaster. - Thanks.
-咱们去坐过山车 -谢了
Go!
快跑
Not as fun as I remember.
不像我印象里那么好玩了
Shoot the control box.
打那个控制器
- Columbus? - Tallahassee?
-哥伦布 -塔拉哈西
I think they might actually require our assistance this time.
这次她们真要我们拔刀相助了
- Buckle up. - Yeah. I'm way ahead of you.
-系好安全带 -早系好了
Time to nut up or shut up.
不成功则成仁
Holy shit.
该死的
Rule 2: Double Tap
法则二 两发连射
My mama always told me someday I'd be good at something.
我妈总跟我说 总有一天我会有一技之长
Who'd have guessed that something would be zombie killing?
谁料这一技之长居然是消灭僵尸
Probably nobody.
估计谁也想不到
Look.
看
We better start working on our apology.
我们最好开始想想怎么道歉了
Oh, no. No.
不 不
- Hey! Ohio! - Over here!
-俄亥俄的 -这边
- Hey! help! - Help!
-救命 -救命
- Oh, my god. - Help!
-天哪 -救命
Help!
救命
Hey, they're up there. They're okay.
她们在上面 她们没事
What are you waiting for?
那你还等什么
That's your gal.
那可是你的妞
- Over here! - Help!
-这边 -救命
Come on! Come get a piece of Tallahassee!
放马过来吧 来吃你塔拉哈西爷爷呀
Anybody hungry?
谁饿了
Tallahassee's nice this time of year!
这个季节里你爷爷的肉最好吃
Come on!
来吧
Come on, you ugly bastards!
来吧 你们这些丑八怪
Holy shit.
帅呆了
Holy shit.
我靠
Motherfucker!
你大爷的
Shit. I'm out of shells.
该死 我没子弹了
Bingo.
正中
Here we go.
接招
Oh. Oh, shit.
该死
- Wichita! Little Rock! - Hurry!
-维琪塔 小岩城 -快点
Oh, my god.
天哪
Look at this fucking clown.
瞧瞧这恶心的小丑
Of course. It had to be a clown.
当然 我和小丑本来就是冤家路窄
Fuck.
死定了
No, wait, it had to be a clown, and it had to be Wichita
不 慢着 一边是怪兽 一边是公主
For me to finally understand
这才让我如梦初醒
that some rules are made to be broken.
有些法则就是要来打破的
Rule 17: Be a Hero
法则17 路见不平拔刀相助
Time to nut up or shut up.
不成功则成仁
Fuck this clown.
去死吧小丑
Thanks.
谢谢
Get your gun. Here you go. Hi.
拿上枪 来
Okay.
没事了
Krista.
我叫克丽丝塔
Okay. We should probably head out now.
好了 我们现在该出去了
Finally got to first base.
有情人终成眷属
Not bad for that scrawny little spit-fuck.
娘娘腔真是艳福不浅啊
Where's Florida?
佛罗里达猛男呢
Fried Twinkies
油炸夹心蛋糕
I have a little hunch.
我有直觉
Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
死哪去了 你们这些美味松软的黄色小混球
Where are you?
在哪儿
False advertising.
广告骗人的
Jesus christ.
上帝啊
You want a snow ball or something?
你想吃点雪球蛋糕或是什么吗
Oh, god.
天哪
Words cannot express.
踏破铁鞋无觅处
It's too soon.
得来全不费工夫
Do you think you could maybe just pick out the buckshot
要不你把子弹挑出来
and just kind of eat around it?
只拿边上的吃
Okay, yeah.
好吧
No!
不
No! No!
不 不
That face?
那个表情
That's me realizing that those smart girls in that big black truck
让我明白车里那两个冰雪聪明的小妞
And that big guy in that snakeskin jacket,
和那个穿蛇皮夹克的猛男
They were the closest to something I'd always wanted
他们正是我苦苦追寻
But never really had.
却从未找到的东西
A family.
家
I trusted them and they trusted me.
我们彼此心心相印 肝胆相照
Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.
活命法则32 享受点滴小事
Tallahassee got his twinkie.
塔拉哈西得到了他梦寐以求的夹心蛋糕
And even though life would never be simple or innocent again,
即使往日那简单单纯的生活一去不复返
As he savored that spongy, yellow log of cream,
当他尽情品尝那松软的奶油卷时
We had hope. We had each other.
我们拥有了希望 拥有了彼此
And without other people, well, you might as well be a zombie.
要是没有伙伴相随 你和僵尸没有分别
- Thank you so much. - You had us going.
-非常感谢 -你把我们吓坏了
Yeah.
是啊
That was very funny.
很好玩
So until next time, remeber,
所以下次请记住
Cardio, Seat belts,
有氧健身 系好安全带
and this has nothing to do with anything,
还有下面这点 虽然和其他没什么关系
But a little sunscreen never hurt anybody.
但彼此关爱 有益无害
I'm Columbus, Ohio,
我是俄亥俄州哥伦布人
from Zombieland, saying good night.
来自僵尸之地 晚安
In the words of the immortal Jean Paul Sartre...
以不朽的简·鲍尔·萨特的话说...
In the-- ln the immortal-- How do you do it?
以不朽的... 你怎么做到的
Just give me a little hint.
给点提示
In the words of, uh, the immortal, uh,
以不朽的...
philosopher Jean Paul Sartre, uh,
哲人简·鲍尔·萨特的话说
Au revoir, gopher.
永别了 小地鼠[《疯狂高尔夫》中的台词]
Okay.
好的