- Facebook or Twitter? - Wait, it's my turn.
-脸书还是推特 -慢着 该我问了
Star Trek or Star Wars?
《星际迷航》还是《星球大战》
Sorry. Star Wars.
抱歉 《星球大战》
Okay. And Facebook.
好吧 脸书
Indiana Jones or...
印第安纳·琼斯还是...
Oh, please don't say Luke Skywalker.
拜托别说卢克·天行者
Indiana Jones or Grace Jones?
印第安纳·琼斯还是葛蕾丝·琼斯
Grace, of course. Amazing Grace.
当然是葛蕾丝 了不起的葛蕾丝
- Welcome. - Thank you.
-欢迎 -谢谢
- You're my first guest. - I'm honored.
-你是我家第一个客人 -荣幸至极
- Give me the tour? - Bed's going here.
-带我转转 -床在这边
- And... kitchen. - Sorry.
-还有... 厨房 -抱歉
Bathroom's through there.
卧室在那边
Okay. And all that for what?
好吧 租这么贵的房子图啥
You said $2,200 a month?
一万五一个月是吧
What a time to be alive.
生当尽欢
- Drinks? - Yeah. Absolutely.
-喝一杯吗 -好啊
It's really cozy, though. I like it.
不过真的很舒适 我喜欢
Plus, no more roommates.
而且 再也没有室友了
You're like a real adult person.
你真的很成熟
I'm so grown-up I don't even have a bedtime.
我成熟到连个固定睡觉时间都没有
So what do you got?
有什么喝的
I got cherry brandy.
有樱桃白兰地
- Chilli vodka. - Bizarre.
-辣椒伏特加 -口味清奇
Oh, I have gin and... vermouth.
还有琴酒和... 苦艾酒
- Martinis? - Approved.
-调马丁尼酒 -同意
- Olives or onions? - Olives.
-用橄榄还是洋葱 -橄榄
Red state or blue?
共和党还是民主党
Oh. Eh, let's maybe stay off politics.
最好还是不要扯到政治吧
No. Rule is you got to answer.
不行 你得选民主党
Well, uh, I'm from a red state,
我家乡是亲共和党州
but I live in a blue one,
不过我住在亲民主党州
so I kind of straddle the political divide.
所以我大概是横跨在两种政见之间
Like a good libertarian?
像温和的自由党那样吗
Or a very confused person.
或者说是迷糊党
You know when you move into a place
你体会过搬到一个新地方
and you visualize this whole new amazing life for yourself?
畅想精彩新生活的感觉吗
Well, this looks pretty close.
我现在差不多就是这样
Oh, no, wait. I'm posting this.
别 等下 我要拍下来发照片
- I was just... - What?
-我只是... -什么
Maybe your no-game game is the most cunning game of all.
也许你这闲得慌玩法才是最有意思的玩法
Yeah, I've heard of the no-game game.
我听说过闲得慌玩法
That's not what I have.
不是我这情况
I actually believe you.
我相信你
Can we just forget that that happened?
我们能忘记这事吗
- Okay. Sure. - Okay.
-好 没问题 -好
To your new amazing life.
敬你的精彩新生活
Well, now it's just lying there on the floor
现在就这样像块生肉似的
like a piece of raw meat.
摊在地板上了
Yasmine, I just- - I really had no expectation that this...
雅斯敏 我... 我真的没有想到
would happen tonight.
你今晚会跟我回家
Well, it's happening.
我已经跟你回来了
literally no way I can make a move now.
我现在真的撩不下去了
Topless or bottomless?
脱上面还是脱下面
Oh, no. Wait, I thought that you meant on you.
不 等等 我以为是你脱
Oh, you want to change your answer?
你想改答案吗
Boxers or briefs?
四角裤还是三角裤
I'll be right back. Okay?
我一会儿就回来 好吧
Sorry, no curtains yet.
抱歉 还没装窗帘
If you're not back in two minutes,
两分钟内你还不回来
I'm gonna get started on my own.
我就自己搞了
This is me at my most inviting.
这是我最勾人的姿态
- It might need some work. - Oh, yeah?
-还需努力 -是吗
Well, how about this?
这样呢
Yes, ambulance, please. He's cut his arm badly.
对 请叫辆救护车来 他手臂伤得很重
There's lots of blood everywhere.
遍地是血
507 East 10th Street, Apartment 1C.
东10街507号 1C公寓
- They're on their way. - Okay.
-他们正在赶过来 -好
Um, help me with these. They're still halfway down.
帮我穿下裤子 还没穿上去
Or maybe they're halfway up.
或者说是没脱下来
Glass half full or glass half empty?
满杯还是空杯
Let's play this game later, yeah?
稍后再玩这个游戏 好吗
- Yasmine. - What?
-雅斯敏 -怎么了
No. No, no, no. Give me the towel.
不 不 不 把浴巾给我
You know, this isn't the first time
这不是我第一次
that a date ended in the hospital.
约会约进医院
I once had some undercooked chicken
我有次吃了没熟的鸡肉
that gave me hallucinations and a temperature of 104.
产生了幻觉并烧到了40度
You should be really relaxed about all this.
你应该放松点
- How old are you? - I'm 31.
-你几岁了 -31岁
33. I'm sorry. I don't know why I lied just then.
33岁 抱歉 不知道我刚刚为什么要撒谎
- Are you on any medication? - Yeah.
-你有服用什么药物吗 -有
Klonopin. For anxiety.
氯安定 治疗焦虑的
And antidepressants.
还有抗抑郁症药物
Is he your... what? Boyfriend?
他是你的 什么 男朋友吗
It's our second date.
我们才约会第二次
I'm not a cutter, by the way. This isn't a sex injury.
我没有自残嗜好 这不是性爱受的伤
I mean, not a weird one.
至少不是变态的那种
- Hey, why are you still talking, Rob? - I don't know.
-你怎么还在说话 罗伯 -我也不知道
- Any allergies? - No.
-有过敏吗 -没有
- When was the last time you ate? - Four, uh, five hours ago.
-上次吃饭是什么时候 -四五个小时前吧
Seafood pasta. Was very good.
海鲜意面 很好吃
Okay. Um, previous surgeries?
好的 之前做过手术吗
I broke my cheekbone once. Came off a bike.
有一次颧骨断了 从自行车上摔下来
Get those blinds for me.
帮忙关一下百叶窗
Okay. I'm gonna get this.
好了 我来看看
- These are coming off? - Down.
-要脱掉吗 -脱下去
- Got it? - Yep. Okay, leg.
-好了吗 -好 腿
Want me to lock this stuff away for you?
要我帮你锁起来吗
I know exactly how much money is in there.
里面有多少钱我可一清二楚
Keep that elevated.
胳膊抬起来
I'd like you to count backwards slowly from ten.
请慢慢地从十开始倒数
Don't worry. It's still there.
别担心 胳膊还在
Oh, you're awake. I'm Nick.
你醒了 我是尼克
I'm just gonna take your blood pressure.
我来量一下你的血压
Surgery went well. Doctor was pleased.
手术很顺利 医生很满意
Median nerve damage can be tricky to repair.
正中神经损伤不好修复
You might have a sore throat and a dry mouth from the anesthetic,
麻醉剂可能会让你感觉喉咙疼和嘴巴干
so keep drinking plenty of water.
多喝点水
I'll make sure he does.
我会叮嘱他的
- Thank you. - Yeah.
-谢谢 -没事
How long till I can be discharged?
我什么时候能出院
Oh, not long. Six hours or so.
不会太久 六小时左右
Look, you should just go.
你先走吧
That's a-- Six hours is a lot.
毕竟 六小时很久的
Of course I'll stay.
我当然会留下
You'd stay if the roles were reversed.
角色互换你肯定也会陪着我的
Absolutely, I would.
我当然会
You wouldn't even need to be in the hospital.
你甚至不需要住院
I'd watch you sleep on a park bench.
哪怕是公园躺椅 我也会看着你睡觉
Besides, we're still on our date.
再说了 我们的约会还没结束
I am calling this an intermission.
这是中场休息
I've been live-blogging it on social media.
我一直在社交媒体上直播
Well, tell 'em to retake their seats.
那就让他们回到座位上吧
- Okay. - Act two's about to begin.
-好 -第二幕要开始了
Glass half full or glass half empty?
杯子是半满还是半空
Jets or Giants?
喷射机队还是巨人队
Neither. Steelers.
都不是 钢人队
Out of sight or out of mind?
视线之外还是脑海之外
They're getting very abstract.
你的问题有点抽象了
It might be the drugs.
可能是因为我用了药
What about the other drugs?
那其他药呢
I get anxiety attacks.
我有急性焦虑症
"Attacks" is the wrong word.
"急性"其实并不准确
For some people, it's like a storm.
对有些人来说 就像风暴
But... for me, it's more like a fog rolling in.
但是对我来说 更像是缓缓袭来的大雾
I kind of... shut down,
会让我 直接当机
and I can't really function in a social situation.
没办法进行正常的社交
I was going to tell you. I just...
我本打算告诉你的 只是...
Yeah. It's not something you offer up until you have to.
是啊 这种事谁也不会主动提起的
Anyway... you seem all calm now.
你现在看起来很冷静
I'd be freaking out if you weren't here, though.
不过你要是不在我就会吓死了
Any good responses?
现在反馈如何
87 likes and 17 comments so far.
87个赞 17个评论
Talk of the town.
绝对是时下热点了
Oh, um, I left out your name, just in case you're worried.
你要是担心的话 我没提你的名字
So, what are you calling me, then?
那你是怎么称呼我的
How about "Martini Lover"?
"马丁尼情人"怎么样
I like "Martini Lover."
我喜欢
It's got that quality of
有一种
slightly decadent espionage
微微颓废的神秘气质
that people always associate me with.
是大家总会联想到我的东西
You should be going out with a martini lover.
你确实应该跟一位马丁尼情人约会
"Rob" Is too ordinary somehow.
"罗伯"太普通了
Maybe we just need to rebrand Rob.
也许我们只是需要重新宣传罗伯
Oh, I can't believe Old Rob ever got this far.
真没想到旧罗伯居然能撑这么久
Guys will check you out and then pull focus to me,
男人们肯定会打量你 然后再看看我
and they're all thinking, "No, he is never with her."
就会想"她怎么会跟他在一起"
I think that's in your head.
我觉得这是你瞎想的
Meanwhile, I'm asking myself, "Well, do I seem nervous?
同时 我也会问自己 "我看起来很紧张吗"
"Eh, will obsessing about being nervous
"总想着自己紧不紧张"
"Make me appear more nervous?
"会不会让我看起来更紧张"
Does she think I'm a total nerd?"
"她是不是觉得我是个呆子"
Everyone does that, Rob.
谁都会这样想的 罗伯
But for me, it's paralyzing.
但对我来说 有很大影响
And so, I have no bandwidth left for the actual experience.
导致真到了那个时候 我已经没力气了
Does that make sense?
这样说你能理解吗
I suppose I'll have a scar.
应该会留疤
- Souvenir. - I guess it's better than
-纪念品 -比在我胳膊上
getting your name tattooed on my arm.
纹一个你的名字要好点
A guy did that for me once.
有个人曾经纹过我名字
Why am I not surprised? Is that your ex?
我为什么不惊讶呢 是你前任吗
Uh, no. Go ahead.
不介意 你继续
I'm earthy. I'm not a barbarian.
我是个俗人 不是野蛮人
It's like we've fast-forwarded years somehow.
就像我们不知怎样按了快进键一样
People are so concerned to put on this big front normally,
通常人们是很介意被看到这个样子的
but now you've seen me at my most vulnerable.
但现在你看到了我最脆弱
Frightened, bleeding...
害怕 流血...
- Naked. - Exactly.
-光着 -对
It's my worst fear realized.
简直是我最可怕的噩梦成真
And it's not that bad.
没那么糟
So, when I had my bike accident, I must have gone ass over tit,
当我出车祸的时候 我的生活天翻地覆
because the next thing I remember is waking up
因为我只记得
in an ambulance with my face out to here.
在救护车里醒来 脸都错位了
- Oh. Oh, no. - And the surgeon is saying
-不 -手术
that they're gonna put a little incision in my head
就是在我的脑袋开一个小切口
to go in with a little spoon
用一个小勺
to lift the cheekbone back into place.
把我的颧骨归位
Okay, well, that doesn't sound that bad.
好吧 听起来没那么糟
Just as I'm getting the anesthetic,
就在我打麻醉剂的时候
they explain that this procedure doesn't always work.
他们跟我说这个手术不一定会有效
Okay, so what's the alternative?
好 那还有什么别的选择吗
Alternative is they have to put a steel plate in.
放个钢板进去
- Okay? - But to do that,
-好吧 -但那么做的话
they have to slice you from ear to ear
他们得把你从耳朵那里切开
across the top of your head,
从左耳到右耳
- and then peel your face off. - No, no, no, no! Stop, stop,
-把你的脸剥下来 -不不不不 别说了
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴
And just as they're telling me this,
在他们跟我说的时候
one of the great panic
我爆发了最严重的一次
attacks of my career is kicking off.
恐慌症
And then the drugs take hold, and I'm off to la-la land.
然后麻醉剂生效了 我就什么都不知道了
Okay, well, everyone would react the same way.
好吧 每个人都会那样的
Yeah, maybe. As it turns out,
可能吧 结果
Plan A worked fine. Scary, though.
A计划的结果很好 不过很可怕
I can't tell which one you broke.
我看不出你哪边脸错位了
- Good. - Which one is it?
-好 -哪一边
- They did a good job. - Thank you.
-手术很成功 -谢谢
Last of the Mohicans.
最后的莫西干人
My father used to smoke like that
我爸以前就那么抽烟
- Was that the... - Cause of death?
-是那... -造成他的死亡的吗
Was he sick for long?
他病了很久吗
You really want to hear the story?
你真的想听吗
The short version is he had a massive brain hemorrhage.
简单说就是他严重脑出血
And the long version?
详细说呢
It was my 30th birthday.
在我30岁生日
we had a big party-- lots of family and friends.
我们开了一个大派对 很多家人和朋友都来了
Finally crawled into bed at my boyfriend's at about 6:00.
在大概6点的时候终于爬到我男朋友的床上
The next morning, my father made breakfast
第二天 我爸做了早饭
and brought it up to my mother in bed.
端到了床上 给我妈吃
She told me afterwards that they made love,
她后来跟我说 他们做了爱
and then he dozed off while she showered.
在她洗澡的时候 他睡了一会
When she came out, his face had collapsed
她出来的时候 他的脸已经抽搐了
and, uh, his speech was slurred.
口齿不清
She called an ambulance, but there was nothing to be done.
她叫了救护车 但已经没什么能做的了
At the hospital, I sat with him the whole time.
在医院 我一直陪他坐着
I remember going for a walk
我记得在护士给他擦身的时候
while the nurse gave him a bed bath.
走了走
As she was finishing, I saw him through the curtains.
在她擦完的时候 我透过帘子看到了他
hooked up to all these machines, but he was so beautiful.
身上插着各种仪器 但他特别帅
Like some Pieta by Michelangelo.
像米开朗基罗的圣殇像
Anyway, he died an hour later.
不管怎样 他一小时后死了
You sure you don't want something?
你确定你不想要点什么吗
I can't eat yet. I'll just get some water.
我还吃东西 我就喝点水吧
- Let me get it. - No, no. It's fine.
-我给你拿 -不 不用 没事的
I'll get it. I can do it.
我去拿 我可以
- You sure? - Yeah.
-你确定 -是的
I'm not getting you another.
我不会去再给你拿一份的
Do you ever wonder what kind of disabled person you'd be?
你有想过你会是哪种残疾人吗
See, that's the kind of crap I fixate on.
看 我就会说这样的傻话
- And what did you decide? - Oh, I'd be awful.
-你怎么想的 -我会很糟
I'd be consumed by anger and self-pity.
我会被愤怒和自怜吞噬的
I'd certainly become an alcoholic.
我肯定会成一个酒鬼
You mean a full-blown one?
一个健全的酒鬼吗
Ow. That stings more than my arm.
这话比我的胳膊还疼
Low-hanging fruit.
唾手可得的食物
I'd spend years in pointless litigation.
我在毫无意义的官司上花了好多年
You're so hard on yourself.
你对自己太严苛了
And then, if any woman ever showed me any kindness,
如果有女人对我展现出一点点友好
I'd make them regret it instantly.
我会让她们立刻后悔
Like, I would willfully mistake it for romantic attention,
比如我会故意把那当成对我有意思
and then I'd become enraged if they didn't follow through.
如果她们不是这样的话我会变得很生气
Uh, I don't know you very well,
我不是很了解你
but this doesn't sound like you.
但这听起来并不像你
Just thank God this wound is gonna heal,
感谢上帝这伤会好吧
for all our sakes.
为了我们自己好
So, what kind of disabled person do you think I'd be?
你觉得我会是哪种残疾人
Oh. You'd be an inspiration.
你会很励志的
- Would I, now? - For sure.
-会吗 -当然
You'd adjust really quickly.
你会很快调整好
You'd throw yourself into advocacy.
你会走出去
You'd be on the Paralympic archery team.
你会成为残奥会射箭队的一员
There'd be TED Talks and cosmetics contracts.
你会去TED演讲 还会接到化妆品代言
All right, all right, you might be overreaching.
好了 好了 说得太过了
No, you'd be, like, completely redefining beauty standards
不 你会是那样的 完全重新定义
for the 21st century.
21世纪美的标准
- You're ridiculous. - I'm also high.
-你说的太可笑了 -我还嗑嗨了
Didn't know you smoked.
不知道你还抽烟
Can I ask you something serious?
我能认真问你几个问题吗
What happened with your boyfriend?
你的男朋友呢
We hadn't known each other that long,
我们认识的时间没那么长
and we were suddenly into this really intense thing.
突然遇到了这样的大事
That's good sometimes, no?
有的时候那是好事 不是吗
- I was pretty hard to be around. - No.
-我很难相处 -不是的
I think you have a slightly false impression of me.
我觉得你对我的印象可能有点不对
Well... take this evening.
就拿今晚来说
I seem like a total hero for staying up all night with you,
似乎我陪你待了一整晚 就像个英雄一样
- right? - Well...
-是吗 -那个...
To everyone online, I seem so considerate.
对于别人来说 我似乎很体贴
But what am I gonna do,
但如果我是
go to a nightclub and check on you tomorrow?
去夜店嗨了一晚 第二天再来看你呢
When you put it like that, uh...
那么做的话...
It's a bit too important to me, though, that perception.
不过别人的看法对我来说很重要
Now you're just being hard on yourself.
你对自己太严苛了
This isn't easy to admit,
承认这点并不容易
but you've been so honest with me.
但你一直对我都很真诚
Everyone likes attention, Yasmine.
所有人都喜欢别人的关注 雅斯敏
Yeah, but 87 likes is a big disappointment.
是 但87还是很令人失望的
I want your neighbors to see me through the windows
我想让你的邻居通过窗户看到我
I want that paramedic to think
我想让护理人员认为
I'm the funniest girl he's ever met.
我是他见过的最有意思的女孩
Why this need to make strangers fall in love with me?
我为什么要让陌生人爱上我呢
What's the difference?
有什么关系呢
- It's harmless. - It's manipulative.
-又没造成什么伤害 -要摆布他人
But so long as you're aware of it.
但是只要你知道就好
That comment you made about guys checking me out.
你对别人的评价会影响到我
You can't help that, surely.
那是你控制不了的
Okay. My friends and I used to do this thing on the Metro,
好吧 我和我的朋友们以前常常在地铁里这么做
as teenagers.
在我们还是青少年的时候
If you're going down the escalator,
如果你要下扶梯
we'd compete to get the most guys to notice us.
我们会比赛看谁能吸引更多的男生关注
I have noticed that, actually.
我其实注意到那点了
He'd call me on it.
他跟我对质
I'd get defensive, convince him that he was paranoid.
我就变得非常防备 说他太过多疑
It was pretty shitty of me.
我是个烂人
You're right, you know.
你说的对
I'm really good at dating,
我很擅长约会
but I'm also hard to be around long-term.
但我很难长期相处
So we decided to take a break.
所以我们决定分开一下
No. It's okay. It's...
不用 没什么的...
we never really talked about... anything serious.
我们并没有谈什么严肃的事
Well, it's certainly big talk now.
现在谈的就很严肃
Did you get in and out okay?
你今天进出方面吗
I've put some clothes in the closet for you.
我给你在衣柜里放了几件衣服
How was the apartment?
公寓怎么样
Like the Manson murders crime scene.
像是曼森杀人现场
- Danish or strudel? - Mm. I don't care.
-丹麦酥还是果馅卷 -随便
Rule is you got to answer.
你必须选一个
What a gorgeous scene.
这画面真美啊
I'm impressed you've fought the urge to put it on Instagram.
你竟然扼制住了把这放到图享的冲动 真令我惊讶
I would, but my battery's dead.
我本来要放的 但手机没电了
I got to say, I...
我得说 我...
I had fantasized about you staying over
我幻想和你一起过夜
and us getting breakfast.
一起吃早饭
It was a little different in my imagination.
和我的想象有一点不同
Well, that could still happen.
还是可能发生的
Really? Even after tonight?
真的吗 今晚吗
Please, don't have an anxiety attack.
拜托 别焦虑发作
Meantime, this is good.
这很好
Here. To your new, amazing life.
来 敬你棒极了的新生活
- Oh, my God. - I'll help you clean up.
-我的天 -我帮你清理
Will you help me move out?
你能帮我搬走吗
Can we just sit here a bit?
我们能在这里坐会吗
But I might need to lay down.
但我可能得躺下
Will you hold that for a sec?
你能帮我拿一下吗
- Sure. - Thanks.
-当然 -谢谢
- What are you... - I'm trying to...
-你在... -我在努力...
- Let me. - Would you?
-我来吧 -你能帮我下吗
- Thank you. Very sweet. - Yeah.
-谢谢 你人真好 -没什么
Can I say something?
我能说点什么吗
I really appreciate this.
我真的很感谢
I-I-I know that we've only just now met
我知道我们才刚认识
and nothing has really happened.
并没有真正发生什么
And I know that you're just out of an intense relationship,
我知道你刚结束了一段认真的感情
and I'm not really, probably, you know, a long-term prospect.
我可能不是... 长期的约会对象
But I just want to say, whatever happens,
但我想说 不管发生什么
this meant something.
这是有意义的
Honestly, if I never see you again,
说实话 如果我再见到你
or if you stick around a very long time,
或者如果你再待一段时间
or anything in between those two, it's all...
或者发生这两者之间的事...
Yasmine, are you asleep?
雅斯敏 你睡着了吗
How much of that did you hear?
你听到多少
Why are you still talking, Rob?
你为什么还在说话 罗伯
I don't know. I'm sorry.
我不知道 抱歉